Pyle of List

So, let’s not beat around the bush. They gave Andre Rodriguez or whatever the hell his name is a blog, where he probably writes about tacos and crap. First off, his dad probably worked in a kitchen somewhere so he and his 13 brothers and sisters should know something about food. Secondly, I want folks to know that it’s mighty disrespectful to the game for some young punk to be writin’ when he should be taking some extra BP. Only proven vets like myself should get those special priveleges. Lastly, what the hell is a blog anyway? I only use my computer for ordering discontinued motorcycle parts, checking weather for ridin’ on the weekends [Ed Note: The offseason, safely and with a helmet], and porn. And just regular good old ‘Merican porn with one guy and one girl. None of this two black midgets and a show pony crap. When I complained to the Skipper about it he sent me to the PR department where they gave me some 539 Intern to blog for me (who added that gay sentence about motorcycle safety). Basically, I tell him what to say while I pine tar my bat and he types it for me.

I decided to review movies because I think these new Hollywood hotshots are getting away with a little too much these days. They’re pussifying America with some of this artsy BS. So, I’ll speak the truth and tell you what I think of these movies. The first movie to review is this robot movie called “Wally”.

Now, I knew I was in trouble when I walked into the theater and was surrounded by a bunch of booger eating morons…and their kids. I swear, kids are the only ones who talk more during a movie than “those people”. What’re them quotes doing around that statement? Anyways, the cartoon movie actually has another cartoon movie before about a magician and his rabbit. Of course the rabbit, who is a trouble-maker of sorts, is white. Damn leftist Hollywood writers trying to work in their anti-whites propaganda. It’s worse than the time Rich Aurilia gave me crap for how I turn double plays. Like I need some half Spanish short-stop telling me how to do my job. Just get back to mowing my lawn. And eyes off my wife!

So anyway, this movie is about two robots who fall in love. Whatever, as long as they don’t try to you know, “mix”. There are those damn quotes again. Knock it off, Woody Allen! The robots end up in space where all the people apparently are on the Brad Penny diet cuz they’re fatter than a cow about to give birth with twins. C’mon, so something ya fat ass! I got to give this movie credit though, because they tell it like it is. The robots (who I can only assume are ‘Cans because they pick up garbage and serve the Brad Penny clones) have the only remaining plant (read: pot) and are trying to smuggle it onto the space station. This throws everything into turmoil, surprise surprise, until The Captian (A white guy. Prolly plays a mean 2B…) tells everyone to settle the eff down and gets the pot off the ship so they can clean up the rest of the trash that the ‘Can robots failed to do. I know, a Mexican not doing his job, someone alert the media.

Now, I didn’t really get to see anything beyond this point because Wally is pretty much dead and I turn to the 5 year-old kid next to me and tell him “sounds like a good start to me!”  which causes him to freak out and cry into his little box of Sour Patch Kids. Wuss. Then some freak teenager with a mouth full of braces tells me I gotta leave and the next thing you know I’m outside. But I gotta say I enjoyed this movie and would highly recommend it to everyone…unless your name is Barry Laamar Bonds, in which case I recommend you jump into the outboard motor of my bass fishing boat!

I give this movie 4 Yee-haws! out of 5.