UFC 109 - Relentless, once again features two preliminary fights on Spike:
Lightweight: Mac Danzig vs. Justin Buchholz
Lightweight: Melvin (The Young Assassin) Guillard vs. Ronnys Torres

The main card features:

Light Heavyweight: Randy (The Natural) Couture vs. Mark (The Hammer) Coleman
Middleweight: Nate (The Great) Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen
Welterweight: Mike (Quick) Swick vs. Paulo Thiago
Middleweight: Demian (Nocturnal Emissions) Maia vs. Dan Miller
Welterweight: Matt (The Terror) Serra vs. Frank (Twinkle Toes) Trigg

Serra vs. Trigg kicks off the PPV.  Both fighters are coming off loses.  Serra lost a unanimous decision to Matt Hughes and Trigg got beaten like he stole something by Josh Koscheck in the first two minutes of their fight.  This is a classic match-up of a wrestler (Trigg) versus submission specialist (Serra).  If Trigg can emulate the way Matt Hughes controlled Serra on the ground, expect him to win a very boring decision.  But, if Serra can use his BJJ, Trigg has been susceptible being choked out via rear-naked choke.

I like scrappy Italian guys, so I’ll take Serra with submission win.  Also, Twinkle Toes is a fucking ridiculous nickname.

Next, we have a bout between two BJJ blackbelts, Demian Maia vs. Dan Miller.  Maia is looking to bounce back from being KO’d by Nate Marquardt, while Miller also want to get back to winning after suffering a decision loss to Chael Sonnen.  The majority of both fighters wins come from submissions.  I hope this fight will turn into a jiu-jitsu clinic.  I think if this goes to the ground Maia has the advantage and will force Miller to tap.

Maia by submission.  Guerra Emmisions Noturna!

At welterweight we have Mike Swick vs Paulo Thiago.  This will be Thiago’s third fight against American Kickboxing Academy’s trio of welterweight fighters (He KO’d Koscheck, then lost a decision to Jon Fitch).  Swick is the better striker, while Thiago is the better submission fighter.  However, both are well rounded.  Swick let me down when I picked him to beat Dan Hardy (He lost a unanimous decision).

So, because I am vindictive by nature, I’ll take Paulo Thiago for this one.  That’s right Mikey boy.  Suck it!

In a bout that determines who get the next shot at the Middleweight title (After Anderson Silva & Vitor Belfort mix it up) we have Nate Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen.  I consider both men to be complete mixed martial artists.  They can strike, wrestle, and force a tap with the best of them.  I expect this to be a very technical bout.  I give the edge in the striking and submissions to Marquardt, and the edge in wrestling to Sonnen.  Chael is a grinder, having 14 of his 24 wins come by way of decision.  If he can control Marquardt on the ground I expect him to win in 3 rounds.  But Nate has won his last 3 fights by KO in convincing fashion.  And in interviews Sonnen comes of as a bit of a prick.

Therefore, I’m going to take Nate The Great by KO.

In the main event - it’s the UFC senior tour!  46 year old Randy Couture will be facing 45 year old Mark Coleman.  This fight would have been the shit … 12 years ago.  Both men are former champions.  Both men are UFC Hall of Famers.  Both men are decorated wrestlers who employ ground & pound.  As is the case when two high level wrestlers square off, it can turn into a kickboxing match.  Randy clearly has the edge in the striking department.  Coleman has shown he still has a great double leg takedown though.  Couture’s game plan is to keep the fight on the feet, win in the clinch and use his dirty boxing skills.  Coleman wants to take Randy down and try to pound him out.  If he can keep him there is another story.

The best description of what this fight might look like comes from Don Frye, winner of UFC 10 (and owner of a world class ’stache) “It’s going to be like sex with a grizzly bear, you know, a lot of scratching and growling on both sides.”

Having said that, I’m going to take Couture to win by decision.

“I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time.”

This coming up Sunday is my favorite holiday of the year. Better than Christmas (no family drama, buying presents, etc.). Better than my birthday (because, really, who cares about me?). Even better than the fourth of July (which is saying a lot because I love bbq-ing and blowing things up).

Super Bowl Sunday is amazing. It’s the one day when I’m expected to eat too much and drink till I puke. I have a free pass to basically live like a fully grown child, indulging any and every whim that crosses my rum soaked mind.

So with all that laid out, hopefully now you understand why I must force this information down your throats like that one last hot wing you know you shouldn’t be eating. I don’t care if everyone’s doing it, I want to make sure everyone gets the essentials for Sunday, so they can truly enjoy this magical day. Enjoy! (more…)

Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).

That’s right, it was an off week. A bye from professional football games. So this will be an abbreviated version of the Fast Five.

What’s that you say? The Pro Bowl?

Shut up!

That’s no less a game than my and my friends throwing a football in the street to see if any of us could throw the football 30 yards (hint: we can’t). David Garrard played. David Garrard!

Other sports play their all-star games mid-season, and it’s considered an honor to be named to. You never see Derek Jeter bowing out because of a tight back or something. You never see Kobe decide that vacationing with family is more important than being on that stage. But football just can’t seem to get that aura. I’m sure having it after the season has something to do with it, but that’s not all of it. It’s just the perception of the game being a big pile of BS. Players can’t be bothered to show up to be honored. It’s kind of sad, really. It seems to be the one part of their product that the NFL really can’t get a grasp on.

Oh well…THE SUPER BOWL IS THIS WEEKEND! HUZZAH’S ALL AROUND! (more…)

 Pete Carroll yelled at me.  There I was, standing on the steps of USC’s physical education building on a cool summer night, exhausted after a long day of orientation spent touring the campus and learning about the classes I’d be taking that fall, and being more or less forced to attend a “Spirit Rally.”  Imagine my surprise when the band turned out to be awesome and managed to actually get me excited, causing me to join in the singing and “Fight On”-ing while ignoring how ridiculous I must have looked since I didn’t know any of the lyrics or motions.

And then this man came up to the microphone.  I don’t remember anything he said.  But I do remember that he made me very excited.  About USC in general, sure, but mostly about football.  And I’d never been that excited about it.

The lasting effect wasn’t immediate.  As a freshman, I didn’t even go to all of the home games.  But something caught on.  Much of my love for USC football came from sharing the gameday experience with my friends and from the team itself.  But much more of it came from Pete Carroll.  Jump ahead two years later, my junior year, and I went to ALL the games, home and away, which included trips to Auburn, Notre Dame, and both Arizona schools.  I was hooked.  And it was mostly thanks to the energetic, young at heart, silver fox of a head coach that we had.

And now… he’s gone. (more…)

“I don’t wanna live without you

And I don’t wanna live a lie

We’ll never know till we try.

Yeah, we’ll never know till we try.”

-Lifehouse

This is long overdue, so I’ll make it as shorter than normal.  First I have to admit that I totally bombed on my predictions, getting all three picks incorrect.  (I finished the season with a 70-21 record.)  Florida systematically destroyed Cincinnatti, and while it was cool seeing Tebow get out his anger over the SEC Championship loss, the skeptics who think he’ll never make it in the NFL, and his coach’s health problems, I still felt sorry for the Bearcats.

Boise State and TCU played a game that went against what everyone expected.  It’s hard to judge that game.  The same thing played out between two heavyweights still wouldn’t be called a good game, but it might not be a bust either.  But the saying “all that matters is the final score” has never been more true.  No matter how that game went, the winning team was going to get to say that it went undefeated and nothing more.  Not that this isn’t an accomplishment to be proud of, but why shouldn’t they get a chance to win it all?  Honestly, I don’t see Boise State beating Alabama (or Texas).  But I would definitely watch to see what would happen.  As Lifehouse says, we’ll never know until we try.

But those lyrics aren’t so much about the necessary playoffs that will hopefully be installed during my lifetime.  They’re more about the Alabama/Texas game itself, which turned out much differently than any college football fan, regardless of the team they support, should have wanted.

(more…)

Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).

Championship Sunday is often described as the best weekend of football of the year. Well, in light of that, I have a confession to make…

I didn’t watch the games yesterday.

STOP THROWING TOMATOES! To be fair, I saw parts of both games. But with family in town for a family wedding, there were too many brunches and drives to the airport for me to just sit back and watch all the games.

And it killed me.

The worst was the back and forth shoot-out that ended up going to overtime. I was teaching a class and one of my students kept getting text updates. With each one I got madder and madder. What was I thinking scheduling first class for this weekend. What a fool I was.

But it’s okay though, I still have the Super Bowl. Right? I mean, that’s still a good day to watch football, right? I didn’t miss the perfect day of football for this season, right?

*softly weeps onto keyboard* (more…)

[Interior of Minnesota area Olive Garden. We see Brett Favre and various teammates sitting around a table.]

Brett Favre: Well, fellas, that was a heck of win on Sunday. Really makes ‘ol Brett Favre proud he came out of retirement.

Kevin Williams: Sure was. Felt good.

Sidney Rice: Real good.

Brett: Yep. Brett Favre always says, ‘winnin’ is better than losin’. Now eat up, boys. This meal is on me.

All: Nice!

Waitress: Hi, my name is Carol, I’ll be your server this evening. What can I get for you gentlemen?

Kevin Williams: Tour of Italy.

Sidney Rice: Tour of Italy.

Brett: Y’all got fajitas?

All: …

Waitress: Excuse me?

Brett: Brett Favre really likes him some fajitas. You guys got any of those here?

Waitress: Ooh, sorry, no. We’re Olive Garden. We only have Italian food.

Brett: Fajitas is Italian, ain’t they?

Waitress: Um, no. They’re Mexican. Can I interest you in a Tour of Italy?

Kevin Williams: They’re really good.

Sidney Rice: Yeah.

Brett: Dang. I was really hopin’ for some fajitas tonight.

Sidney Rice: I never knew you like fajitas so much.

Brett: Shoot yeah! They are single handedly responsible for gettin’ me off pain killers in the ’90s. Every time I wanted to pop another pill, I just went out and got fajitas instead. Now listen Christine…

Waitress: Carol.

Brett: Yeah, right. You guys got steak here?

Waitress: Yes we do, would you like it with…

Brett: And you got veggies?

Waitress: Of course…

Brett: Now, back in the kitchen, you guys got a skillet or something?

Waitress: Yes…

Brett: Boom! Then you got fajitas. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Waitress: But…

Brett: Phew. I was gettin’ worried there. If Brett Favre doesn’t get his fajitas, he goes a little crazy. Starts throwin’ silverware as hard as he can. Been known to pass right through a human skull if I’m not careful. Killed 15 people at a BJ’s one time because they didn’t have fajitas.

All: …

Waitress: Your fajitas will be right out.

Brett: Ariba!

Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).

I hope you’re starting to think about your Super Bowl plans.

If you haven’t started already, start today! Figure out who, amongst your group of friends, is hosting. Figure out what kind of food and booze you guys want to have. Know what you’re responsible for bringing. And of course, have your driving/crashing on a couch situation well scouted.

I say this because I know the sting of not having good SB plans. A few years ago, I wasn’t proactive, and ended up settling. When everyone settles, no one wins. I ended up not with my core group of football fans, and the food situation was no good. I also couldn’t get hammered because I had to drive myself home. Those are all poor choices that I deeply regret.

I know it may seem early, but this coming up week is the last week of games before the big game. And without weekly football to remind you, you might forget. So this Sunday, when you have everybody sitting around watching the conference championships, make sure you nail down those plans! (more…)

Hate hate hate hate hate hate!

We all hate. Some pretend they don’t, but deep down inside, they know they do.

Hate is one of the purest emotions, and can really motivate some people to perform above and beyond where they normally perform at. So this weekend, when you find yourself losing a bit of steam in your cheering as the days roll along, use this guide to ignite the fires of hate inside you, and propel you to cheer your heart out.

Also, I’ve brought along a friend to help dispense the hate: 2002 Hater of the year, Silky Johnson.

Enjoy!

(more…)

Here we go.  Everyone’s favorite little one trick Bronco gets to be carted out once again to give all national pundits a chance to throw a hissy fit about how the BCS is evil, the world would finally be at peace with an eight team playoff, and poor little Boise, whose offensive line doubles as the dance team, will be denied the chance to get their orange ass throttled by a ridiculous Bama front line.

By the way, playoff supporters, in a eight team format, where the conference champion in the big six in plus two at large bids, the Broncos STILL wouldn’t have gotten in.  Florida and TCU would have gotten the at large bids, and Boise would be moaning about wanting a 16 team playoff. 

What’s wrong with a 16 team playoff?  Well, why does Penn State get to go to the playoffs?  Oklahoma State has a better resume, but they don’t get a chance?  Maybe we should go 32.

But, why does Houston get to go?  They play in the C-USA.  Arizona was one win away from the Rose Bowl, It’s not Fair!  Get congress involved, we demand a 64 team playoff!

College has a 64 team playoff in basketball. Every March we watch the brackets get set up, as a Michigan gets left out, and the pundits reach to find an argument about how it’s not fair that McNeese State gets in because of a puny conference title, while a .500 powerhouse gets “robbed”.

 Then, instead of putting money in an office pool, I use the cash to buy a bullet and rent a gun.

“It’s a little bitter sweet, I mean, you could be looking at the end of a dynasty….”  Keyshawn Johnson, NFL Live

I thought about writing “better sweet”, because I am still convinced that he butchered the term.  I chose to take the high road.  Johnson was talking about Pete Carroll leaving USC to become the Uncle Moneybags of the Pacific Northwest.  Full disclosure, I am not a USC man.  I can’t remember the last time I wanted a Trojan victory.  From Reggie Bush getting pushed into the end zone, to Matt Leinhart stating that they were still the better team immediately after the Vince Young show in 2006, USC has been under my skin.  Maybe I just hate winners.

Regardless of my Southern Cal disdain, I still do everything I can to hate the facts and not fabricate negatives in my head.  Johnson’s statement has a three-fold problem.

1.)     Keyshawn, although you played for USC, you never played for Carroll, simmer down.

2.)    The only way you could be looking at the end of a dynasty is if it was a dynasty in the first place.  USC won one BCS title game under Pete Carroll.  One.  The last time I looked, a dynasty was winning 3 in 4 years. 

3.)    USC is falling apart, regardless of Carroll leaving or staying.  We live under this false assumption that college football programs will dominate for thirty years if given the chance, but Carroll’s Trojans started to take the Florida State route this year.  Not to mention the sanctions that are going to cut USC football off at the knees in February.

“It’s hard to pick against the Cowboys, they are the hottest team in the playoffs…”  Chris Burman,   NFL Live

How far does heat really travel?  Does the hottest team at the end of the season really burn through the payoffs on heat alone, or are they called hot because of the scorched earth the leave through the playoffs?  Instead of resting Manning at the end of the season, should he be forced to take another hundred or so snaps?  Maybe, sit him for the first four games of the season?  Does Chris Burman ponder these thoughts at night when he’s alone in bed with his bucket of nutrasystem approved boneless wings?  Or, does he just use the term “hottest team” to allow himself to eat instead of do research?

It amazes me how we can decide who will be in the Super Bowl based on last week’s performances when the four best teams have yet to even play in a playoff game.  I’ll admit, I like the Cowboys this week, but it has more to do with the fact that AD has gotten AP’ed everytime he has gotten the ball in recent weeks because of an offensive line that is lining up five George’s. 

It seems that everyone has their preseason Super Bowl picks based on loose merit then, with four weeks left in the season, pick solely based on which teams are fun to watch a.k.a “hot”.  I believe the three hottest teams in the NFL a month ago were the Titans, Packers, and Eagles.  Where is that heat now? 

p.s. Don’t bring up the Chargers, they hurt my argument.

 “I still contend that, even though he has admitted to using steroids, it doesn’t help you hit a baseball.”  Peter Gammons, SportsCenter

Let’s get something straight.  I, like you, don’t want to talk about steroids anymore.  The sport that raised us is forever tainted.  We have known it as a definite for over a decade now.  When Manny tested positive for it last year, we talked about it for a day, and moved on.  The days of Bonds, Sosa, and Big Mac shitting all over baseball were working their way into the rearview mirror and we were at least pretending to move forward.  A-Rod didn’t help, but you know what I mean.

Then Mark McGwire, in a fraudulent attempt to diffuse the steroid circus bomb before he goes into this spring’s training camp as the hitting coach of the Cardinals, decided to make his rounds through the interview chairs of a selected few to “confess” his career of steroid abuse.  Never mind that he used his family and God as a shield to excuse his actions.  Never mind that he downplayed his use to a few scattered doses here and there.  Never mind that he refuses to acknowledge that his cheating had anything to do with breaking any records.  I could burn a thousand words on picking apart McGwire’s bullshit with ease but, It’s been done in thousands of blogs already and Mark is an athlete (sort of) and I try to keep my focus on the people paid for their opinions. 

When the McGwire circus came back into town earlier this week, it was Gammons poor attempt to, yet again, defend a player’s steroid abuse by stating that if Peter Gammons had used steroids, he still wouldn’t be a baseball player.  He wants them all in the hall of fame because of a misguided loyalty that allows him to believe that the Roid Bunch would be hall of famers if they never used the stuff. 

The minor leagues are littered with half-skilled players who would be all around baseball dynamos if they could just hit the ball forty feet harder.  IF you trim forty feet off each homerun McGwire hit, he might not have broken any records, but he still would have had a solid career.  Gammons seems to think that everyone believes that a roidless McGwire would have spent his life digging ditches, wondering what life would have be if he could have just stayed healthy.  I prefer to use the Pete Rose argument.  Gambling never helped Rose get a single hit, but it kept him out of the HOF.