Pyle of List

So far in the “Unsolved Mysteries” segments I’ve covered teams from the Big 10, Big 12, SEC, ACC, and PAC-10.  I’d like to close by featuring a team from the Big East: South Florida.  Right now the big story surrounding the university is whether or not head coach Jim Leavitt physically assaulted a player.  But that’s not what I want to talk about today.  I want to bring up the issue of the football team’s stagnation.

First I must give credit to the tremendous job Leavitt has done with this team.  He has been the team’s only coach since its creation in 1997.  That might seem like a long time ago when I remind you it’s the same year that Titanic came out, but when compared to the vast majority of football programs (especially Division I programs), 12 years is nothing.  To go from NOT EXISTING to being a team in a BCS-conference only seven years later (they joined the Big East in 2004) is incredible.  Even more amazing is to create a team from scratch and within 10 years get it to a #2 ranking in the polls, the position that South Florida found itself in after a 6-0 start in the 2007 season.  (And, just for giggles, knocking off a pretty good Auburn team AT Auburn to help erase some of that “the Big East can’t compete with the SEC” bs.)

Add to this the fact that in those twelve years, Leavitt has only had two losing seasons.  And one was the first season they ever played, so I think it deserves a pass.  In short, Leavitt is like a chef who walked into a partially stocked kitchen, threw together whatever he could find, and made a magnificent meal that’s still feeding people to this day.

But while they’re well-nourished, they aren’t feasting.   South Florida followed up that 2007 6-0 start by losing three in a row and ended the season with a blowout to Oregon in the Sun Bowl.  Then the Bulls started the 2008 season 5-0 before finishing 8-5.  And again this season, they were 5-0, and will finish at best with another 8-5 record.

You have to be a pretty good team to finish with those records.  And you have to be an even BETTER team to put together 5 or 6 wins in a row, especially at the beginning of the season.  But you aren’t a GREAT team until you can sustain it.  That’s the level South Florida needs to get to.

So that leaves two questions.  Why haven’t the Bulls been able to get there? & HOW can they get there?  I’d like to offer five possible answers for each.

What’s holding them back?

1.  Some people who play the NCAA videogame just want to play the games.  But some people love the recruiting aspect much more than the actual gameplay.  Jim Leavitt is one of these people, and it transfers over to real life.  He wins a few games to start off to show that his team is worth playing for, then puts it on auto-pilot and lets the computer/players take care of the rest while he concentrates on developing a new pipeline state so he can finally unlock that last XBOX achievement.

2.  Jim Leavitt’s barber is a West Virginia fan.  He purposefully gives Leavitt that haircut because he knows there’s no way the players can take him seriously for an entire season with hair that looks like that.

3.  Like most coaches, Leavitt preaches that winning the conference is the most important thing.  However, most players are under the mistaken assumption that, since the Big East has only 8 teams, this means winning any 7 games will give them the Big East championship.  By the time players finally grasp the concept of needing to beat 7 SPECIFIC teams, they graduate.

4.  Leavitt loses valuable Florida recruits each year because he focuses too much time trying to gather information about local recruits from the state of South Florida.  His staff doesn’t have the heart to tell him it’s not a real place.

5.  Having jumped headfirst into this whole football thing without really learning how it all works, Leavitt is worried that if his team is too successful it will be moved into the next division, the NFL.

How can they get to the next level?

1.  While three years in a row is definitely a trend, it’s not reversible.  However, his players might be beginning to doubt themselves.  He could alter the helmets to make them think they are a much better team.  (Example: USC or remove the “S” so they’re just U F.)  This will trick the players into believing they have a shot at the national championship.

2.  Sacrifice a namesake bull to the “gods of football” prior to the season’s first game.  If the players really get into it and feast on the blood of the fallen, do it before each subsequent game.  If they freak out and are dramatized by the harrowing experience, threaten to do it again after the first loss.

3.  The USF staff should hire people to take meticulous notes during the first few games of the season so that the players can study them and continue to do the things they’re doing right and correct any areas that need work that might eventually cause a loss.  Perhaps the university could even spring for videocameras so they could record it and play it back.

4.  Spend the off-season learning the triple option attack to the point of mastery.  Run it against the weak opening day opponent and obliterate them.  Then never use it again.  Not only will teams be wary, expecting it at any moment but also they will be in awe of how you could do something so stupid, so much so that it will likely affect their ability to gameplan.

5.  Promise the team that if they win the national championship, there will be a huge ice cream party.  Everyone likes ice cream.  If someone on the team mentions that they don’t, well, THAT’S why you’re not yet at the next level.  Get rid of that guy.