Pyle of List

“Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.”

-Dr. Austin O’Malley

Nick Saban was bitten by a dog once.  He spent the next few months observing its behavior, seeing who it played with, what it ate, where it slept, when it went to the bathroom, and where it buried its bones.  He knew the dog better than the dog knew itself.  He knew its schedule and could catch it completely off-guard.

But he did not.  Instead, he made his intentions known.  He and the dog met at a designated time and place.  And then Nick Saban bit the ever-loving crap out of that dog.  He didn’t make a big show of it.  Just leaned down, took a healthy bite, smiled ever so slightly upon hearing the poor creature’s squeal, then released his jaws and calmly walked away.

Nick Saban will never tell you that he loves the revenge, but he does.  His cologne is made of it.  And Saturday he is going to douse himself before the game so that the infectious odor permeates all the way across the field to the other sideline where Urban Meyer will catch a whiff of it, and he will know what is on Saban’s mind.  And he will be powerless to stop it.

It’s been awhile, but we finally have another match-up between undefeated teams.  We will go into the weekend with the six we’ve had for weeks.  But we will leave with five at the most.

Here are my rankings and predictions. (Current record: 67-17)

#6 Boise State:  Nevada only lost by 11 points, so they might have had a chance had they figured out that the Broncos were playing the role of a punk older brother, running the same play over and over.  In three different goal-line situation, Boise State threw a touchdown pass to a fullback rarely used in the passing game.  That is, rarely used until he caught THREE TOUCHDOWN PASSES.  Nice defense, Wolfpack.

The undefeated season is just a formality with 3-9 New Mexico State on the chopping block tomorrow.  Not that disappointment was going to keep the Broncos from winning easily, but with the Oklahoma State loss, they seem to be a shoe-in to return to the Fiesta Bowl.  I hope they don’t get paired against TCU, but they probably will.

Winner: Boise State

#5 Cincinnati: I’m not sure who started inserting the “it’s a time for sharing” phrase into every holiday, but I’ve definitely heard it said about Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is not about sharing; it’s about GIVING THANKS.  It’s right there in the title.  I suppose it is about “sharing” your thanks, but that’s a stretch.  If someone chooses to share something with you, you should thank them, but let’s not get this whole thing twisted out of whack.

The Bearcats got the wrong message over the holidays because on the day after Thanksgiving they decided to share 36 points with Illinois.  36!  Normally I’d say that makes Pittsburgh a shoe-in for the upset, but the Panthers pulled their own gracious act of selflessness by only scoring 16 points against West Virginia in the same weekend.

So it’s anyone’s guess, and my guess is Pittsburgh.

Winner: Pittsburgh

#4 TCU:  Congratulations to the Horned Frogs for completing the regular season undefeated.  Here’s hoping you don’t get matched up against Boise State.  (Not that I don’t think it would be a good game, but it wouldn’t give either team a chance to match up against the “big boys.”)

Wait, what’s this Coach Gary Patterson?  You think your team is already a big boy?  No?  Then why else would you speak out against a play-off.

Sure, you’re entitled to your opinion, but when you say stupid stuff like “we have a chance at it this year, we’re in position if someone else messes up, etc.” it makes your opinion, well, stupid.  It is not easy to go undefeated.  There’s a very good chance TCU might never do it again.  To say that your team has to be perfect while the others have to mess up is exactly the issue.  Teams from outside the BCS conferences aren’t treated fairly.

Sure, it’s much easier to win one championship game than a couple of play-off games.  But who wants to play for a coach that wants things to be easy?

#3 Texas: Good news is, barring a major faceplant, Colt McCoy is going to win the Heisman.  Bad news is, Texas’ defense has been badly exposed, like a print from a one-hour photo shop.  Do I think Nebraska can do anything to exploit this?  No, not unless they put Suh on offense.  (Not the worst idea.)  But can Florida or Alabama exploit this?  Definitely, especially Florida who, you might have heard, has a quarterback who can run the football.

Take care of Nebraska as we all expect.  Then do us a favor and don’t let the SEC win another national championship.

Winner: Texas

#2 Alabama & #1 Florida

It’s close, but I put the Gators in the top spot because they had a great game while Alabama really struggled.  The Crimson Tide is not designed to come from behind, but somehow they did it against Auburn.  It was not a beautiful thing to watch in the sense that it looked totally unnatural.  But it was impressive.

So the big game.  As much as they both hate Tennessee (and Kiffin), that team gave a blueprint for how to beat each of these teams.  If Tennessee had any semblance of an offense in those games, they win both of them.

To beat Florida, you must force Tebow to run.  This seems counter-intuitive, but stifling his offense will frustrate Tebow and cause him to try to win it all by himself.  Now, he might be able to do that, but it gives you a chance to stop him.

To beat Alabama, you must stop Mark Ingram.  Actually both Tennessee and Auburn did this.  In the Tennessee game, Bama had literally no offense, scoring no touchdowns.  Against Auburn they got the passing game going enough and, for whatever reason, Trent Richardson was able to run against the Tigers.

In all fairness, Florida did score more against Tennessee than Alabama did.  But Bama has been more consistent on offense lately.  They seem to be able to rely on the passing game when the running isn’t working, and vice versa.  But with Tebow on the other side of the field, that puts the offenses more or less even in my book.

On defense, the teams are also a wash.  Anyone on either team is capable of laying the smack down.

So it comes down to emotion.  Florida has lots of it.  Tebow came back to make history by winning back-to-back BCS titles and giving the Gators their first ever undefeated season.

But Bama has something even more powerful.  Revenge.  But not bloodthirsty, shoot you in the back revenge.  Cold, calculating, tediously plotted over revenge.  Whether the players want it (and they do) is irrelevant.  Saban wants it.  And somehow, some way, he will get it.

Winner: Alabama