Pyle of List

Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).

This past weekend marked the first NFL games of December. And you know what means…

CHRISTMAS!

Yes, now that we’ve put away the turkey decorations, it’s time start busting out the bright lights and trolling Home Depot parking lots for that perfect tree. Pretty soon, you’ll see Santa(s) making appearances and parachuting into your favorite NFL stadiums.

Speaking of the big guy in red, I was thinking about something the other day. Do kids think that Santa is God? Think about it. He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He keeps tabs on who is good (pure) and who is bad (sinner). So Santa must just look like God’s cool brother, who just shows up with gifts without all the hassle of tithing and guilt.

“Aw yeah, Uncle Nick is coming over! I hope he lets me play with his pocket knife…”

And when Santa returns to us, he doesn’t bring fire and brimstone with him. Just good times. I should start a Church of Santa. I would make a fortune!

Anyway, on to the NFL…

Are the Saints “blessed”?

Get it? It’s because Saints are holy people and would probably have God’s favor…nevermind. Clearly, to run the table in the NFL, you need a lot of luck. I just hope the Saints saved some for the playoffs and didn’t cash in all their Hurricane Katrina karma chips just to beat Washington. Because Suisham missing that chip shot field goal and that call in OT being reversed (I watched it, and it didn’t seem like there was any way it could be overturned) they sure did cash in a lot of them.

Who is the best old QB in the league?

Kurt Warner and Brett Favre are the only two guys still slinging balls around the field the way most men their age sling them around the locker room at the gym. And this past week, they went head to head, with Warner coming out victorious. Favre has been getting a lot of (much derserved) praise this year for his efficient play, but sometimese I wonder if Warner goes a little overlooked. I mean, I know that he gets gushed upon like all other QBs by the announcers calling his games, but he doesn’t get the national media HJ that Favre does. Well, he deserves it. Not only has been playing at a high level for a long time (leading two different teams to the Super Bowl), but he’s done it all with a succubus of a wife waiting for him at home. Imagine what he could accomplish with a fine POA like Deanna Favre at home.

Raiders…spoilers?!

Please note the exclamation mark after that question. As hard as it is to believe, the terribly at football Oakland Raiders could have a hand in shaping this year’s playoff field. Their upsets are starting to add up. First, they beat Philly, who is now tied with Dallas for the NFC East lead. If they had won (like they were supposed to) they would be ahead. They knocked off Cincinatti when a win would have all but wrapped up the division for the Bengals. Then, the beat the Steelers this past week to push them to the brink of playoff elimination. Looking at Oakland’s remaining schedule, they have two more chances to mess with people trying to make playoffs. It’s possible that their week 17 meeting with the Ravens could have playoff implications (and could allow for a complete middle finger to the AFC North) and the biggest one of all, week 15 against the Broncos. Just a fornight away! Do you think Al Davis and his army of the undead would love to stick it to the Broncos and cost them a shot at the division. Yeah, I think so too.

Are the Jets and Dolphins actually in this thing?

Amazingly enough, yes. Because I hate the Patriots, I don’t follow them all that closely. I had just assumed they were running away with that division. But as the announcer, um, announced during their loss to Miami on Sunday (which was awesome) they are only one game up on New York and Miami. It would make my season to have those guys get bounced from the playoffs back to back years. It’s not very likely to happen (Car, @ Buf, Jax, @ Hou is not exaclty intimidating) but a guy can dream, can’t he?!

Wait, Chicago had a game this week?

Apparently. But until I checked the scoreboard this morning, you totally could have fooled me. That’s what happens when you don’t have a shot at the playoffs and are playing the Rams…

Fantasy Question of the Week

DLamp, what do I do if my owner is retarded and has playoffs starting next week (15) instead of this week (14) so our championship will be decided on week 17?

Calmly ask the gentleman to right this wrong in the next season. And if he doesn’t see things your way, stomp and cry like a whiney little bitch. That’s what I’m doing, anyways.

PS - I totally called that Alex Smith thing last week, right?!

Un-Perfect Season Watch ‘09!

Each week we will hilight the lowliest of the NFL landscape. Why? Because it’s fun to laugh and point at other people’s misfortune.

Bottom of the barrel (teams that failed to score an offensive TD in the past week): Rams and Bucs

Race for the #1 pick: If the 2010 draft was held today, here is how the top 10 would play out:

1. Rams
2. Bucs
3. Browns
4. Lions
5. Redskins
6. Chiefs
7. Bills
8. Raiders
9-10. 6 teams tied with 5 wins

Monday Night Sneak (Preview) Attack

Bal @ GB - In two of my three fantasy leagues I’m going up against Aaron Rodgers and I have Ray Rice in one. So I’m pulling for Baltimore, as crazy as that sounds.

2009 Sneak attack record: 11-2