Pyle of List

In light of Tiger Wood’s alleged adultery against his super model wife…Wait, let me double check on that…Yep. Wow. Tiger Woods was cheating on his super model wife.I get it, the guy’s got everything. Fame. Success. More money than God. Sometimes you just have to shake things up a bit. Throw a skank into the gears. But the rest of us still have sanity, and know that if we ever tricked a chick like that into doubling down with us for life, we would never do something so dumb. So we’ve compiled some of our favorite athlete WAGs (that’s Wives And Girlfriends for those of you that don’t read British tabloids) that we would never, EVER, cheat on. Enjoy!  

Elin Nordegren - We’ll kick this off with the inspiration for the list. You think some nerd from Stanford could pull this kind of girl if he wasn’t the greatest golfer ever? Yeah, me neither. Fun Wikipedia fact: Elin sued the Irish newspaper The Dubliner for $365,000 for publishing nude photos of someone else and claiming they were Elin right before the Ryder Cup

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Minka Kelly - I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of my attraction is the desire to have angry angry sex with Lyla Garrity. Ugh, what a stuck up little bitch! But there is no denying that Minka is the goods. And while I’m sure Derek Jeter has plenty of attractive girls clutching at his captain (you see, because his nickname is Captain Clutch) none of them is the total package Minka is.  Fun Wikipedia fact: Minka is the daughter of former Aerosmith guitarist Rick Dufay.

Cheryl Tweedy - Ashley Cole, you are one lucky man.  Your wife totally saves you from all the “you have a girl’s name” jokes that could be thrown your way.  That Beckham chick has nothing on Cheryl.  I caught a quick glimpse of her while watching England play soccer one time and she completely made me lose interest in the game.  That might not be saying much because watching a faucet drip is at times more interesting than watching soccer.

Gina Lee Nolan

Probably more famous than her husband Cale Hulse. (Except to those of the great white north who are obsessed with hockey) Gina doesn’t need me to convince you it would be dumb to step out on her. She was hot enough to be on Baywatch and more importantly, hot enough to grace the pages of Playboy. If she’s good enough for Hef, then she should be plenty for you Cale.

P.S. She is a former Miss Las Vegas

Anna Benson

Now aside from being too hot to cheat on, Anna is also too crazy. But at least Kris would not get assaulted with a putter, she has stated that if he were to cheat on him that she would simply sleep with every member of the team he was on. She also openly hates PETA and gun control organizations. So she might even shoot your dog before heading out to take 25 for the team. But let us not forget the crazy/hot scale. The hotter she gets, the higher amount of crazy is going to be built in. Good luck.

Adriana Lima

Let’s see: 5′10″ 34-24-35.  She’s a Victoria’s Secret Angel.  She makes between 6 to 8 million dollars a year.  Exotic features?  Check.  Crazy eyes?  Check.  World class turd cutter?  Check.  Oh and she actually married this guy, so even normal schlubs like us can convince ourselves we have a chance.  I would bone her so hard that the first person to be able to pull me off her would be proclaimed King of the Britons.