Pyle of List

Trick plays have been used in football even before they legalized the forward pass.  But many of the plays that probably confused the hell out of the defense when they were still new (reverses, double passes, draws, screens) are considered commonplace today.  Even the Statue of Liberty play gets used often enough these days that, while still fun, it’s not that big of a surprise.

But just when you’re beginning to think that no truly unique trick plays can be invented, you see two within the same week:  The bounce double pass & the “bouquet pass.”  This got us thinking: what other plays would really knock our socks off?  Some are more practical (i.e. legal) than others, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said they wouldn’t all be fun.

The Puntarooskie

This one requires both meticulously measured equipment and a player with an innate sense of depth and direction who also happens to be an excellent gymnast.  In a fourth down situation, your “punter” comes out onto the field, catches the snap, and then “kicks” it downfield.  It will be a very short “kick,” so the return man will likely get into position and call a fair catch.  Imagine his surprise when someone from the “kicking” team jumps in front of him to catch the ball for at least a first down, but likely a touchdown since the “receiving” team will be set up to block the “punt return.”

The refs will probably throw a flag for “kick” catch interference, but then it will be revealed why I just used so many quotation marks.  The punter was actually upside-down.  He walked on his hands, wearing his pants like a shirt, his jersey like pants, and planting his helmet on his butt.  So the “kick” was actually done with his hands, making it a throw.

Sure, this would require the guy to catch the ball with his feet and transfer them to his hand, but if he can already throw the ball any reasonable distance while holding himself up with just one arm, it’s not much of a stretch to believe he could do the rest of it.

The Charlie Brown

This is a fake field goal.  The play itself is unimportant.  It could be any running or passing play.  The key component is this: The kicker does not know it is going to be a fake.

The ball is hiked normally, the holder puts it in place, and then at the last second he yanks it away, causing the kicker to swing at the air, miss horribly, and flop to the ground like Manu Ginobili.  The sight of the kicker’s tragically spinning body is likely to captivate the defense for a few seconds, allowing the play to be pulled off successfully.

But even if it’s not, the play still has a great chance of making it to Sportscenter.  And the team can take solace in the fact that at least they fooled somebody.

The Out-of-Bounds Pass

This is one I’d legitimately like to see someone try.  Here’s the situation:  The team needs a touchdown to win.  They have no timeouts.  There’s only enough time left to realistically get off one play before trying a Hail Mary. But they aren’t yet close enough for a Hail Mary to make it into the endzone.

While the defense still has to play deep to be sure the offense doesn’t burn them, it wouldn’t surprise them if the quarterback threw a quick out-route to a receiver who would run out-of-bounds to stop the clock for one last play.

You put your receiver with the best throwing arm in the slot.  If he’s left-handed, you put him on the right.  If he’s right-handed, he goes on the left.  (You’ll see why in a second.)  Your fastest player, be it a running back or wide receiver, lines up as the outside receiver on the same side.

The slot guy does indeed run a five-yard out, and the quarterback keys on him just enough to draw in the defense but hopefully not enough for them to break up the pass.  You want as much of the defense as possible to converge on him as he catches the pass and runs out-of-bounds.

But…instead of actually RUNNING out-of-bounds, he JUMPS out-of-bounds, turning his body to throw back to the outside receiver.  (This is why you want him on the opposite side from what hand he throws with.  Easier to turn back.)  When that guy catches the ball, he turns and runs up and across the field, where everyone has been lining up prepared to block for him.  If you have a fast QB who’s used to running, he can let the ball carrier get in front of him and be prepared in case he needs to lateral.  Otherwise, he’ll need to block someone.

Considering the low percentage chance of a Hail Mary working anyway, this would probably be worth a shot.  It would definitely catch the defense off guard, which is not an easy thing to do when they know you need a touchdown right away.

The Idiot

This one is for more of a flag football/friendly pickup game. Line your best actor on the outside on one side, and your speed guy on the opposite side. Upon hiking the ball, actor pretends to slip and fall to the ground. Be sure to yell really loud so everyone sees it. Speed guy slows up and QB brings down arm to laugh at friend. Then, when the defense least suspects it, speed guy turns it on and QB heaves a bomb. [note: I actually attempted this in an intramural game in college, and it would have worked if our QB could throw worth a crap].

Finkle is Einhorn!

Another pick up/intramural trick. This one just requires a girl with a good arm. Don’t throw to her all game (you probably already weren’t) but make sure to have her bitch loudly about it. Then, break huddle and say (loud enough for the other team to hear) “fine, here’s your stupid play.” QB acts like he hates it. Throw a pitch to her like she’s running an end around and have almost everyone act like this is stupid. ALMOST everyone. You have one guy just run a streak and she lets loose the type of throw that the other team will never see coming. Six points!

The Brady Quinn

Spend your whole life crafting yourself to appear homosexual. Like Brady Quinn. Then, in the week leading up to the game, send an opposing defender secret emails/letters telling him how obsessed you are with his muscular quads. Like Brady Quinn (probably). Make the last one be waiting for him in his locker and have it say “Right before the half I’m going to show the whole world our love is real!” Then just design a play where “Brady” runs right at that defender. Guaranteed that guy doesn’t try to tackle him.

 The Adrian Peterson

 If you are ever in a game against a team that just isn’t at your level and you want to make them feel good, like they actually have a chance at staying in the game with you, all you have to do is call the AP. In this play you do a fake reverse play but instead of making the easy hand off to your speedy wide receiver and running it in for a TD, your star running back throws the worst pitch/lateral that anyone has ever seen and thus creates a fumble for the other team to recover. They will feel good and maybe you give them a momentum swing so they might be able to do something on offense. In the end of course you can smash them as hard as you want.

The Goal Line Kick Return

 Now this one is for punt returns. Instead of spreading all of your blocking out all over the damn field and allowing the kicking team to run right past/through you and tackling your returner for no gain, you line up all your blockers ten yards in front of your return man. This will let the kicking team get all their defenders down field. Then all it takes is for your blockers to open a good hole and BOOM…..your return man is gone and only the old, slow punter is between him and glory. Have your returner break his ankles with some sick Madden video game jukes and BOOM AGAIN……..six points.