Pyle of List

Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).

You know what’s the worst? Being sick around the holidays, like I was for Thanksgiving weekend.

You know what’s the best? Having a built in excuse for never getting off the couch/out of bed on a Sunday!

Because I was too weak to do anything (”gee, I’d love to decorate the tree, but this fever is really kicking my ass…”) I got totally uninterrupted football this weekend. And because this H1N1 nonsense has everyone on edge, no one even bothered me with their mindless chatter!

Something something closes a door something something window.

On to the games!

Why does the NFL hate Thanksgiving?

Probably some sort of repressed childhood memory involving a butter and a drumstick. But whatever it was, they clearly hate this holiday. Why else would they book three terrible games for that day? They know that everyone is going to have the games on at family gatherings because of people like me who won’t shut up if they’re not. So they give us three blow outs. Thanks, NFL. This is worse than my Aunt’s decision to not make mashed potatos this year. What is this, Russia?!

How many pointless games were played on Sunday?

4 by my count. And I’m not talking about games where the outcome is widely anticipated (Hou v Indy, SD v KC, or Cin v Cle). I’m talking about games which have no impact on the NFL landscape whatsoever, and only serve as frustrations for fantasy owners who sat the Jets defense. The games I’m speaking of are: Car @ NYJ, Jax @ SF, Sea @ StL, and Mia @ Buf.

Who is the leader in the clubhouse for MVP this year?

At this point it’s either Farve or Pey-Pey. Shocking, right? The only two guys to ever win three MVP awards are back at the top of everyone’s list. And you know what the weirdest part about it is? I actually don’t feel overwhelmed with talk about Favre. I was watching the Chi/Min game on Sunday and they announcers were gushing (and acknowledging their gushing) about how great Favre has been this year. But this time it was totally justified. The man is having an incredible season. And let me set the record straight that I hate Favre. HATE the man. But I’ll be damned if he doesn’t actually deserve the MVP talk. And you know what? Justifying all the hype only makes me hate him more!

Who is this ‘Red Man’ you speak of?

Apparently, his first name is Chris and he plays QB in the NFL. Could have fooled me, until about two series into the Falcons game when he took over for an injured Matt Ryan. And he was actually pretty good, leading the Falcons to a last minute victory over the Bucs. And while I’m happy for the guy (I’m sure it made his decade), let’s be serious: the Falcons are screwed if Ryan isn’t back this week. That’s great that Redman beat the Bucs but…IT WAS THE BUCS! They’re terrible! You think he’ll be able to repeat that next week against a team like, oh, I don’t know, Philadelphia! No, of course he won’t. Ryan needs to get that toe in shape or that team’s season is over.

Yeah, but haven’t you said similar things about Vince Young?

Shut it, retorical questions! Yeah yeah, I need to eat a little crow about all the crap I’ve dumped on VY since he’s been down. The guy just knows how to win. Whatever that means. Congratulations, Vince. You’re finally earning those millions of dollars AND making obscure bloggers like myself look like idiots.

Fantasy Question of the Week

If you’re like me, and you own Matt Ryan, who is your best choice to pick up should he miss any more time?

Most likely, the guy you want to keep an eye on in your league is Alex Smith. Smith has quietly put up decent numbers each week, which is all you’re looking for out of an emergency start. And taking a look ahead at SF’s schedule, you’ll see that it is very fantasy friendly (@ Sea, v Ari, @ Phi, v Det…and if your league plays it’s championship week 17 then they are @StL).

Un-Perfect Season Watch ‘09!

Each week we will hilight the lowliest of the NFL landscape. Why? Because it’s fun to laugh and point at other people’s misfortune.

Bottom of the barrel (teams that failed to score an offensive TD in the past week): Giants, Panthers, Jaguars

Race for the #1 pick: If the 2010 draft was held today, here is how the top 10 would play out:

1. Rams
2. Bucs
3. Browns
4. Lions
5. Redskins
6. Raiders
7. Chiefs
8. Bears
9. Seahawks
10. Bills/Panthers (not sure how the tie-breakers work here)

Monday Night Sneak (Preview) Attack

NE @ NO - Game of the week, by far. New Orleans puts its undefeated record on the line against the always dangerous, always hateable Patriots. Before the Saints’ secondary got all beat up, I felt like the Saints had this in the bag. Now though, I feel like it’s going to be a dogfight. But I’m voting with my heart on this one, not my head. New Orleans stays unbeaten.

2009 Sneak attack record: 10-2