Pyle of List

Tomorrow night thousands of children will hit the streets of Anytown USA with black fedoras, one white sparkly glove and an elaborate leather jacket of some kind in hopes of getting adults to give them treats.  Little do they know that the very man they’re dressing like would have given them some “feel good medicine” and shown them some really interesting pictures in his secret room.

The really scary costume this year is the doctor who prescribes painkillers with no scruples.

But I digress…

Yes, tomorrow is Halloween and everybody, young and old, should have a costume.  Here at Pyle of List we feel the pain of struggling with those pesky costume decisions so we’ve taken the liberty of suggesting a few to some friends around the sports world.

Brett Favre as Man-E-Faces

For those of you not up on your Masters of the Universe, shame on you.  Man-E-Faces was the great Eterian actor for King Randor.  He also helped He-man on a few occasions.  The thing that made him a great actor was a head with 3 different faces on it that could rotate based on the need or character he was playing. (Think of a member of congress, same basic principle)  Man-E could go from snarling monster to mechanical robot to human being in seconds and everyone loved him for it…if that doesn’t seem like Brett Farve I’m not sure you know who Brett Favre is.

Tracy McGrady as a sleepyhead

He’s already got the facial expression, now he just needs the pajamas. And considering he’s injured (again) he probably spends most of his days in them anyways. Even money that they have the feet built in.

 Johnny Damon as Mark Sanchez (or vice versa)

Peter King thinks these guys look exactly alike. Then again, Peter King is a racist. I just say that whoever is more prominent at the time should be the costume of the other. Like if Damon wins games 1 and 2 of the World Series, then Sanchez pretends to be him. But if they lose, you’ll hear this exchange a lot in NY bars:

Girl: “Hey, aren’t you Johnny Damon?!”

Damon: “Nope, Mark Sanchez…”

Girl: “Finkle is Einhorn!”

Sasha Vujacic as Wonder Woman

To be honest, I just wanted to use that Photoshop again.

Richie Incognito as Irony

All he really has to do is wear his jersey, but for an added touch he could carry a sign that states “Why yes, I am the offensive lineman for the St. Louis Rams.”

This particular year, the costume could also substitute for “failure.”

JaMarcus Russell as an NFL quarterback

Obviously he can’t wear his own jersey, and he probably shouldn’t wear the jersey of any actual starting/backup/bench-warming NFL QB because that’s just unrealistic.  But he could get a generic jersey and pass as a generic NFL quarterback.

To assist with the costume, JaMarcus should get about twenty or so 8 foot tall friends with great hands to wear the same colored jersey to play his receivers.  They should stay near him at all times, preferably behind him or way to the side of where he intends to throw.

The group will also need one member with a shiv to take care of any jackass trick-or-treaters who thinks it’s funny to “intercept” him.  Talk about an unoriginal costume idea.

 Got another good idea…let us know in the comments.