Pyle of List

Yeehaw! Joe Torre finally pulled his head out of a bottle of Bigelow’s Green Tea to realize that he needs to get as many starts out of My Boy KERSHAW!1!  as possible in the NLCS. That’s why he’s named him Game 1 Starter for tonight’s game.

This is big for us.

Huge for us.

Last year we weren’t even in the rotation. We had to sit out in the bullpen with Fatboy Broxton and that shifty Kuo. This year, BAM!, right out there for game 1.

My boy needs some pumping up. And what gets me more pumped up than anything else?

Mother effing Eminem!

beat starts playing

Look, this is your game one shot, game one opportunity

To win everything, what we’ve always wanted - game one opportunity

Are you gonna curveball it, or let a fast one zip?

Yo

Their palms are sweaty, knees weak, bats are heavy
There’s vomit on their jersey already, Lasorda’s spaghetti
They’re nervous, but My Boy KERSHAW!1! is calm and ready
To drop Lembecks, and he keeps on great pitching
He’s on now, the whole crowd goes so loud
They all take swings, but the hits won’t come out
They’re choking how, Jim Thome’s joking now
The innings run out, game’s up, over, BLAW!

Snap off an Uncle Charlie, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rollins, he choked
He’s so mad, and he just gave up that
Easy, yep
He won’t hit it , he knows his whole back’s to these ropes
It don’t matter, he’s out
He knows that, his bat’s broke
He’s so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his Philadelphia dugout, that’s when it’s
Back to the field again yo
That’s a rap, Jimmy
You better go cry for a moment and hope they go bullpen

You gonna lose Phillies to the Kershaw, the moment
He throws it, you better know that it’s over
You only get one swing, and you’ll miss your chance & blow
This boy’s gonna own you for a lifetime yo

GO DOYERS!!!