Pyle of List

As evidenced by this picture, Bob Griese helps the sick, which is to be lauded.  However, this child who has apparently suffered some sort of recent head trauma would have done a better job commentating at the end of the Wisconsin/Minnesota game Saturday than Griese did.

Picking on commentators is like shooting fish in a barrel, except it makes much more sense.  The sports world seems to think you are not capable of covering an activity that you did not either play or coach (or both), which is just flawed logic.  Does anyone think Nicolas Cage would make a better film critic than Roger Ebert?

It’s annoying when someone being paid to do what lots of people would love to do (watch and talk about games) doesn’t know the rules and says things that are completely illogical.  It happens all the time, of course, but Bob Griese did his own version of the 2-minute drill, firing off incorrect retorts like so many incomplete passes.

Let me set the scene for Saturday’s impressive string of verbal ineptitude.  Minnesota has the ball on their own 5 yard line, down by 3 with no timeouts left and 1:43 left on the clock.  After two failed pass attempts, they have 3rd and 10.  The QB completes a pass to a receiver near the sideline who puts a great move on his guy and scoots up the sideline for a first down before going out of bounds.

Griese:  “Good job by the receiver there getting a first down and getting out of bounds.  That will stop the clock until they set the ball for play.”

Actually, since it’s inside the last two minutes, it will stop the clock until the ball is snapped.  Even if you aren’t aware of exactly how last year’s rule changes work, the old way was the the clock stopped until the snap EVERY TIME the player went out of bounds.  So you still could have been right by being wrong.  Instead, you mixed the two sets of rules into the perfect blend of inaccuracy.

Still, it’s just one slip.  I’ll let it go. 

On the next play the QB is sacked, though it’s for no loss as he gets back to the line of scrimmage.

Griese:  “You can’t take a sack in this situation.  You just can’t.  If it was the NFL the clock would stop after a sack, but since it’s college the clock keeps running.”

Unlike many bloggers I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong.  At first I thought Griese was totally insane and making up rules out of thin air.  But after consulting the Internet I learned that apparently in the NFL if the player who “initially receives the snap is tackled for a loss, the clock stops until the ball is set for play.”  Perhaps this rule has been modified because I couldn’t find a current version of the NFL rules, but regardless, there’s an important factor.

The clock stoppage does not occur INSIDE THE LAST TWO MINUTES OF EACH HALF!  At this point I am wondering if Griese is aware of how much time is actually left in the game.  Perhaps he has never learned to read a clock, or even a timer, and is too embarrassed to admit it.  But Griese’s ignorance is coupled with arrogance, which is unforgivable.  An idiot can be forgiven for being stupid as long as he doesn’t try to sound smart.

On the next play, Minnesota’s offensive line collapses, and the QB is being tackled by three Wisconsin players.  Somehow, he manages to get off a little girl pass that flies forward a few yards but still well short of the line of scrimmage.  Obviously, he’s called for intentional grounding.

Griese: “You can’t do that.  That’s the last thing you can do in that situation.  That’s just as good as a sack.”

Didn’t you just say that the last thing you can do is take a sack in that situation?  Actually, the QB made a very, very smart move.  In college the penalty for intentional grounding is loss of down at the spot of the foul.  So yardage-wise, yes, it’s just as good as a sack.  But the clock stops and no time is run off.  So the QB actually saved the team lots of time.

Minnesota eventually got the first down only to have the QB get sacked and fumble on the next play, with Wisconsin recovering.  I wasn’t really listening at that point, but I imagine Griese said something about how the last thing a QB could do in that situation was fumble the ball to the other team.