Pyle of List

Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).

You know those times when you’re chowing down on some really good food, and you can’t believe how full you’re NOT getting? Let me offer a word of advice during those times:

STOP. EATING.

I learned the hard way that eventually all that food is going to settle at the bottom of your stomach. And it’s probably not going to be pretty. Yet I consider it just a small sacrifice to the football gods for entertaining me for an entire day.

Will Detroit wait two more years before winning again?

Not quite. I’m not ready to declare this Detroit team some sort of dark horse (upcoming games against Chi, Pitt, and GB means they’ll enter November with just this one win) but they definitely have the pieces in place to not be the worst team in the league for a while. They have a decent-to-good QB in Stafford, an all world WR in Calvin Johnson, and a very serviceable RB in Kevin Jones. All they need is an entirely new defense and they’ll be in the playoffs. Detroitians, don’t hold your breath.

How can a last second win make me hate Favre even more?

Easy, it makes me have to hear about him anymore. All it takes is one miracle catch (the catch was the miracle, the throw was whatevers) and I’ve got to hear about how great he is. About how no one can touch him in the clutch (might want to ask Elway about that one). About how he’s just playing the game like a child. Blah blah blah. Same Favre, different knob slobbing. Then for him to get up there and ‘aw shucks, ain’t no bid deal’ at the press conference made my blood boil just as much as it makes every hillbilly in the country swoon. SOMEONE TAKE THIS OLD MAN OUT ALREADY! Speaking of that game…

Who is this man, and what have you done with Vernon Davis?

Because this is not the guy that has screwed the ‘Niners (and my fantasy team) over since they drafted him. In just three games this season he’s already caught half as many balls for half as many yards as last season and already equaled his TD output. Mike Singletary is getting a lot of credit for turning San Fran into a winner again, but perhaps his biggest victory is tapping into the potential of Davis. Davis was highly touted coming into and out of the draft, but has never lived up to the hype, draggin the ‘bust’ tag around with him at times. Now he’s giving Shaun Hill the dynamic weapon across the middle Alex Smith never had. Hey, maybe Vernon Davis just hates Alex Smith…

Is New England back?

I’m so tired of the ‘Patriots are dead…Patriots are back!’ seesaw that we all seem to be on. Look, the Pats, as much as I hate them, are a very good football team. They will probably make the playoffs and if they get hot at the end of the year you’d better watch out for them. But they are not the absolutely dominant team they were two years ago. They probably never will be again. That was magic, and everyone knows Magic has HIV. Wait, I think I’m confused. No matter. This Pats team is still going to win a lot of games, and lose a few as well. But neither of those should garner the knee-jerk reactions we’ve seen the last two weeks.

Should JaMarcus Russell be arrested for stealing?

Yes, because clearly he’s not earning the money on that contract. Through three games he’s completing passes at a 41% clip for a whopping 378 yards. That combined with his 1:4 TD:INT ratio yield him a passer rating of 39.8. I don’t think I have to tell you how bad that is. At what point do you just say ‘eff it’ and snap the ball directly to McFadden?

Fantasy Question of the Week

When do you start trying to rip someone off in a trade?

Now, you fool! At this point, people are sitting at 1-2 (or 0-3) and are panicking that their picks are going to be busts. That’s when you swoop in with your Desean Jackson or Donald Driver and fleece them out of a better player.

Un-Perfect Season Watch ‘09!

Each week we will hilight the lowliest of the NFL landscape. Why? Because it’s fun to laugh and point at other people’s misfortune.

Un-unbeaten teams: Carolina Panthers, Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, St. Louis Rams, Tampa Bay Bucs, Tennessee Titans

Monday Night Sneak (Preview) Attack

Car @ Dal - Jerry Jones will not allow his team to lose twice in a row in his new palace. Especially not on a national stage like MNF. I expect Romo to bounce back and the Dallas defense to finally get a takeaway and Delhomme and his Panthers to continue to struggle.

Also, make sure to check out our very own Philguard live-blogging tonight’s match-up over at SI. You can find him and his charm here.

2009 Sneak attack record: 3-0