Pyle of List

Michael Strahan isn’t satisfied with Jimmy, Terry and Howie being the only people to make fun of his teeth on National TV.  Later this month Strahan’s new sitcom “Bothers”…wait no, “Brothers” will premiere.  All the promos show Strahan with his sitcom family as they poke fun at his gap…after the grill jokes run out, I’m not sure what the plan is….

“Michael, you left the garage door as wide open as your front teeth.”

Inspired by a question from the latest Joe Sports Fan show, we here at PoL have decided that NFL stars getting a short-lived TV shows after they retire should be the new trend so… submitted for your approval other NFL players that will annoy you with promos for their crappy shows….

Brett Farve in “One More Time”

The future HOF Quarterback plays “Charlie” who retired from his dream job, driving NASCAR, after his former owner found a younger guy to drive.  In the Pilot, Charlie struggles with the idea of getting back on the track when his former teams arch rival offers him a contract.  The episode ends with his call to accept the offer while his family stands by nodding in admiration.

Unfortunately, while the pilot and 8 episodes are made, just as the promos begin to run on FOX, Brett decides to leave the show to go back to the NFL for one more season.  The series take a strange turn when they kill off Charlie in an on-track accident only to have his younger brother Sammy (played by CSI’s George Eads) step in to help out the family and race in memory of his fallen brother.

Mike Vick in “The Dog Whisperer”

Desperate pet owners bring their troublesome companions to the one man who can teach them how to behave properly: Mike Vick. With the most advanced training techniques learned through his volunteer work with PETA, Vick takes these terrors and turns them into treasures. Each episode ends with Vick literally whispering in the dog’s ear a secret message that the owner (and the audience) never gets to hear. Even money that it’s “behave, or imma kill you!”.

Jerry Jones in “The Jerry Ranch”

Fresh off the success of their reality series “The Bunny Ranch”, HBO chronicles the trials and tribulations of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones as he tries to add yet another amenity to his football stadium/theme park: a fully functioning whorehouse. Highlights of the season include the two-part auditions episodes, Jerry’s run in with the NFL about how close the whorehouse is to the field, and the return of Pacman Jones to Cowboys Stadium (hint: it’s not as a football player).

The Manning Brothers in “Manning TV”

After honing their acting skills sixty seconds at a time for all of their commercial endorsements,the brothers land a sketch comedy show that allows them to “act” for that same amount of time. The show features sketch after sketch laced with sibling rivalry, brotherly love, and Super Bowl winning moments. Along with frequent appearances by Archie Manning, some special guest hosts include; Tony Dungy as a black father who adopts two white sons, Plaxico Burress as a rapper who gets into trouble with the Mannings as his law team, and an ill conceived sketch with Tom Brady where the brothers take turns holding him down and punching him.

Unfortunately we will only get one season due to the fact that the commercial promos end up being funnier than the shows.

Plaxico Burress in “Oz 2.0″

After his appearance on Manning TV, HBO approaches Plax to revive their previously successful prison series, OZ. Plax will use the skills he picked up in prison to add a new level of authenticity to the show.  But internal tension will start to arise when Plax actually starts a drug trade on set and when producers have to convince Plax that he actually is allowed leave every night. In a doomed attempt to bring it back around they will eventually green light the “Longest Yard” episode that will bring the experiment to an end all together.

Kurt Warner in “Touchdown Jesus”

In a show that’s “Friday Night Lights” meets “Highway to Heaven,” Warner stars as an ageless dispenser of sage wisdom who wanders from small town to medium-sized town helping down-on-their-luck football players and teams reach for the stars and achieve their goals.

Not satisfied with merely teaching them how to throw a tight spiral or distributing shiny pairs of throwing gloves, he also helps solve their emotional and spiritual problems, where they be as trivial as being a womanizer or as monumental as feeling that they will never complete their life’s goal because an old man keeps stealing their job.

is he an angel?  Is he a magician?  One thing’s for sure.  He’s not entirely human.

Jeff Feagles in “The Feagles’”

In this family sitcom, Feagles plays a much more famous version of himself who can’t deal with his new round-the-clock family life now that he’s retired.  Sure he might hold all the NFL punting records, but how’s he supposed to hold it together with the kids running amuck and his loving but stubborn wife nagging him to hurry up and paint the garage already?

You’ll fall in love with the new catchphrase, “Don’t make me punt you/these toys/all those fancy hats you just bought into the next county!”

Most episodes will center around Feagles kicking something out of frustration and accidentally breaking it, leading him to call in his old buddies from the league who try to help but fail to fix things before his wife finds out.  (Expect lots of cameos.)

Also, lots of jokes about people not being quite sure how to pronounce his last name when referring to the whole family.

Got a better idea?  OK, nobody here said this covered every possiblity…let us know what you think?