Pyle of List

A shadowy figure sits down in a plush bedroom, and turns on the TV.

Voice: Alright, let’s see what them talkin heads is sayin about me today…

Turns on ESPN

Announcer: Mick Vick started his first full week of practice today…

Voice: Hmmm…

Changes channel to ESPN2

Announcer: Steven Strasburg finally signe with the Washington Nationals ending speculation that…

Voice: What the…

Changes channel to ESPNews

Announcer: The Red Sox freefall out of the playoffs continues…

Voice: Damnit!

Changes channel to the NFL Network

Announcer: Some sleepers to target at WR in your upcoming fantasy drafts.

Voice: Well that just about tears it!

Reaches for cell phone

Voice: Hello? Bus?

Brett: Why ain’t nobody talkin bout me?!

Throws remote at TV, accidentally goes out window instead

Bus Cook: Well, I don’t know, Brett. Maybe it’s because you’re retired now.

Brett: Noboday dang told me that retirin’ meant not gettin as much time on the TV! How can everyone love me if I ain’t in their face every ten minutes?!

Bus Cook: Well, I’m sorry, what do you want me to do?

Brett: Call up them dang Vikins and tell em I’m commin to town.

Bus Cook: You’re going to play again?!

Brett: Who cares! Just tell em I’m comin so these announcers will start chatterin about me again.

Bus Cook: As you wish, Brett.

Hangs up phone

Brett: Dang, I’m all riled up now. Why, hey there Mr. Vicodin, you always know how to make me feel better…

Scene.