Pyle of List

Dear My Boy KERSHAW!1!,

I feel an apology is owed. Actually, multiple apologies.

First, let me apologize for slacking on the man crush updates. I realize that this relationship you and I have is a two way street. Even if the courts won’t let me stand on your street anymore. Or anywhere withing 500 feet of you. But whatever, that’s not the point. The point is that I owe it to you to update everyone on your wonderfulness more often. And for that I’m sorry.

Secondly, while at Dodger Stadium last week, sitting in the all-you-can-eat right field pavilion, I failed to once call your name out as loud as possible. True, you weren’t pitching that day, but a real friend would have done that for you. Again, I’m sorry.

Thirdly, and maybe this one hurts the most, I pulled you out of my fantasy starting rotation this week. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that I could have been so careless with something I care about so much. Of course I understand that you are hurting. I can’t explain my logic, really. I mean, yeah, Zach Duke is getting two starts this week to your one, but that’s just a fool’s excuse. Please forgive me. It won’t happen again, baby, I promise!

I hope this doesn’t effect your performance tonight. In fact, I hope you go out and dominate those Padres tonight. Make me hurt for my sins. I deserve it. I promise you’ll be back in my rotation next week. In the meantime, please enjoy this:

Love,

DLamp