Pyle of List

With A-Rod’s hip causing so much commotion, we thought that someone should stick up for the good hips out there in the sports world. You know, the hips that go to work day in and day out just to put food on the table for their kids without causing a stink. Good, hard working hips. ‘Merican hips.

Okay, so maybe it’s just a list of attractive sports women. Whatever, you’re already here aren’t you? Might as well give it a read. Enjoy!

Erin “Page Views” Andrews

The queen of the sports internet crush is of course at the top of our list. I think it’s great that Andrews doesn’t just rely on her looks (although she certainly could) and is actually good at her job. I’ll give her a job to be good at! Yeah, whatever, I didn’t want to stay here anyways…

Candace Parker

See.. most of these hot female “athletes” are strictly eye candy who don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell in seriously competing in their sport (i.e. Wie).  Candace sets herself apart by being an absolute monster on the court.  I just seriously wish people would stop hating on Shelden Williams for baggin’ this cutie.  Yes, this is a rant about how fine Candace is without mentioning how I think Shelden looks like a human Budweiser frog.                              

Danica Patrick

Danica is little more than a novelty on the track.  Alright, so she won a race in Japan last year.   Good…whatever.  About three years ago she released an autobiography (at the age of 24), so she’s a little bit obsessed with herself… or looking to cash in before the wrinkles set in.  I am much more impressed with her spread in the 2009 SI Swimsuit issue.  That’s a nice body of work.  Hey-o!

Maria Sharapova

Hey, she’s a tennis player that can actually play tennis(we all know who I’m talking about).  And Maria has a blog attached to her thighs…we wish we could say the same.

Heather Mitts

Heather Mitts is a Olympic gold medalist.  She definitely has a legit résumé.  She has also been the fancy of several pro male athletes including Pat Burrell, AJ Feely, and some tennis guy named James Blake (I don’t watch tennis).  Heather is the best thing to happen to USA soccer since Brandy Chastain.

Gina Carano

The rebirth of American Gladiators brought us one great thing.  Gina Carano is “Crush” and gives us enough of a reason to sit through Hulk Hogan interviewing every participant between every single event.

Bia and Branca Feres

Better known to most of us as the hot Brazilian synchronized swimmers. While this duo may not have actually gone to Beijing this year, they won gold in all our hearts. And our pants… what?!

LoLo Jones

I still have nightmares of seeing this brickhouse stumbling over that racist ass hurdle in China this summer.  Track and field ranks up there with tennis as one of the sexier sports to watch females play… My God, those female shot putters are lovely.

Natalie Gulbis

Now this was a tough selection.  It was either this chick or Serena Williams.  But since I’m a black man, I have to go with the white girl.  The LPGA has been coming through with a few cuties lately.. Paula Creamer (what a name), Michelle Wie (what a name), Annika (I joke I joke.. I kid I kid).  She doesn’t have the cutest face, but the body is official… I would be her caddy any day.

Jennie Finch

Take it from someone who plays a lot of softball; most girls who play softball do not look like Jennie Finch. Most of them look like this. Kind of like how Aladdin isn’t actually that athletic, but compared to the rest of Agrabah’s homeless he is amazing. That’s how Finch is in the world of softball. You know, Jennie, I have a magic lamp that…okay, okay, sheesh, I’ll stop.

Alisson Stokke

This Track and Field babe works the javelin.  I got a stick she can toss around.  I mean that figuratively as a javelin throw is actually a pretty violet action.

Lokelani McMichael

Her real name is  Lokelanikuu’leimakamae.  She’s a Hawaiian beauty.  At the age of 18, she was the youngest woman to finish the Hawaiian Ironman Triathlon.  Lokelani has some serious talent.  She’s also a great athlete.  Just a refresher on the Ironman: it starts with a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bicycle race, and then finishes up with a traditional 26.2 mile marathon race.  Any person, man or woman, that could even entertain the idea of finishing a race like that is an incredible athlete.