Pyle of List

Having two premium movie channels (prestige!) is great because no matter what time you are plopped on the couch, there is probably something on that you will enjoy. Somehow, The Sandlot is always amongst the options. I swear I have watched this movie 5 times in the last year. Each time I come across it, it’s the best option and I say to myself “oh, I’ll just watch this until something better comes on”. The only problem is, I always end up finishing the movie. What can I say? I’m a sucker for that movie.

One of my favorite parts is at the end when they do the voice over about where all the kids in the movie are now. That got me thinking about where all those child actors are now. I mean, I know the fat kid when on to do The Big Green and other highly successful projects (actually, he has a pretty good resume) but what about the others? Well, a quick internetz search yielded this list done by Boosh Magazine. While this satiated part of my hunger, this line really started eating away at me:

“***We couldn’t find much else on the other guys as they left acting and were un-Google-able”

What the eff? You do one little Google search and then dub the others ‘unfindable’? Well, luckily for you I am way more obsessive about things like this. I hired four private detectives to comb through this nation and find the remaining cast members. Behold! Where are they now: the forgotten Sandlot characters!

(try to imagine the same voice as at the end of the movie reading these)

Timmy Timmons (Victor DiMattia)

Sadly, The Sandlot proved to be Victor’s downfall. After notching many impressive credits prior to the movie’s release, Victor let the fame get to him. After the money was gone from DiMattia’s crippling addiction to prostitutes and meth-laced Big League Chew, Victor was desperate for money and threw his dignity out the window. It started with singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame at minor league baseball games, but that well ran dry after an incident involving and under-aged fan and a fungo bat. After that, a quick visit to his uncle, Lou DiMattia, led Victor down that path that would lead to his ultimate demise: New Jersey club promotion. After taking over managing duties at “Starburst” nightclub, Victor fell back into his old ways of using and abusing. Club staff found him dead in his office just two months later, face down on a pile of shredded gum. The flavor was grape.

Tommy “Repeat” Timmons (Shane Obedzinski)

After emancipating himself from his parents in 1994, Shane finally broke free from the actor lifestyle they forced him into. On his own, Shane pursued his one true love: juggling. Under the tutelage of Thomas Dietz, Obedzinski traveled all over the world learning new tricks. The Mills Mess, treblas, even ‘97531′. Obedzinski was a man obsessed. With juggling. Highly respected in the underground juggling world but never given the credit he deserved by main stream juggling media, Obedzinski’s crowning moment of glory came in 2003 when he took silver at the WJF (World Juggling Federation) convention in Las Vegas. Obedzinski currently lives alone in a one bedroom apartment where he works day and night to break the world record for most balls juggler. Evar!

Young Mr. Mertle (Herb Muller)

What most people don’t know was that Herb Muller actually shot the end of Sandlot where Benny and Smalls come in and get the Murder’s Row baseball. Unfortunately, he didn’t test very well with audiences, so the producers replaced him with the always adored James Earl Jones. Furious about his character magically changing from an old white guy to a same aged black man in the span of twenty something years, Muller’s heart exploded on May 18, 1995 just two years after the film was released. Legend has it, that if you freeze frame the Benny/Hercules chase seen you can see Herb Muller’s ghost giving the producers the finger. Legend also has it that he effed the dog. What do you want me to do, the dude was an old pervert?!

Phillips (Wil Horneff)

Wil Horneff is a total a-hole. Seriously, I know this guy, I see him at auditions all the time. He parades around like he’s some type of acting god, but in real life he’s done about two things since The Sandlot and his parents pay for his apartment in Santa Monica. One time, Wil and I were at the same party at my buddy Ryan’s house, and Wil totally had too much to drink and punched a girl. In the face!

Older Benny (Pablo P. Vitar)

Pablo was never a legal citizen of these United States and was deported as soon as the director yelled cut after he stole home. He has never been heard from again.