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After watching Brock Lesnar become the UFC heavyweight champion in just his fourth professional fight this weekend, it got us thinking: has anyone else jumped to the forefront of his sport with such ease? Of course guys like Jordan and BronBron come to mind, but that wasn’t really a surprise. Lesnar is a surprise. Everyone thought he was too green to beat the savvy veteran Coture, but he defied it and now stands on the top of the mountain.

In his honor, here are our Top 12 Fast Risers in Sports History. Enjoy!

A true role model for all impressionable young men. Just ask Joe Buck.

Boston Sports Fans

Remember back in 2003 when the only Red Sox fans you knew were the die hards who had been suffering their whole lives? Or back in 1999 when no one was a fan of the Patriots? Those were the good old days. Nowadays you can’t turn on a TV, read a newspaper, or browse the internet without having some Masshole touting the teams from the fair city of Boston. And to think, all it took was a couple championships to get the fans to come out of the woodwork. They even gave the biggest Boston homer of them all, Bill Simmons, his own little spot on ESPN.com. I, personally, am sick of it. I’m tired of hearing about what great fans they have up there, and how extremely loyal they are. You know, the same fans that booed the Patriots at home this year because they were losing a game. One game! Pathetic.

Antonio Gates and LT trying not to laugh at the SNL skit that is one Norvel Turner.

Antonio Gates

This is a biggie. He wasn’t even drafted. He never played college football. He was supposed was supposed to go to Michigan State and play basketball and football. Snake Oil Saban wanted him to only play football, so he transferred several times, finally playing basketball at Kent State. Then, after not being drafted, Gates set the record for NFL touchdowns by a tight end in his second year of play for San Diego. Now in his sixth(!) year in the league, he’s still one of the top TEs. His success led NFL scouts to start looking at basketball players too.

Carrie Underwood, Jessica Simpson and no Madonna, that’s the way you build a list, A-rod.

Tony Romo

This guy went from complete unknown to leading “America’s Team” and dating ultra hot singers in the span of a week. Now he’s Jerry Jones’ boy (which makes him financially set for life) and on the cover of all types of magazines. Did I mention the hot chicks? Because if I didn’t, I would like to reiterate: he’s banging chicks way above his station because Drew Bledsoe is a stone footed ass bag.

“We’ll all cheer for VICTORY
‘Cause RANGERS we’re all for you!”

Melvin Bullitt

If you’ve been paying attention to the Colts the last few weeks, you’ve no doubt heard of Melvin Bullitt. He’s the second year safety who’s been stepping up to pull in two straight game clinching interceptions as well as filling in for the hard hitting but oft injured Bob Sanders this season. Where did this guy come from? Well, I’m glad you asked. While you could google Bullitt and find out he was actually an stand out for Coach Fran at Texas A&M you have to look hard to find that Bullittplayed high school ball at Naaman Forest High School in Garland, TX. Why is that significant? It’s probably not to you, but as a former alumni myself who has acomplished little, I find it to validate my academic career slightly. Go Rangers!!

You can look like this and still have girls all over you. All you need is tons of sponsorship dollars.
Shaun White

Most boarders (skate, snow, whatever) are skeezy guys that just smoke a lot of pot and never really do anything with their lives. Somehow, Shaun White took his ability to have red hair and turned one X-Games appearance into a fortune. He’s all over the place and making the kind of money from advertisers and sponsors that makes Tony Hawk jealous.

Cy Young pitcher or living in mom’s basement till he gets that recording contract? Why not both?

Tim Lincecum

I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of the rhetoric about Tiny Tim Lincecum. He’s too small. His throwing motion is weird. He won’t be durable enough. His arm is going to violently separate from his body. He proved the purists wrong. This kid is legit. In his second full season he won the Cy Young for a Giants team that only mustered 72 wins. Oh yeah, he only weighs 170 pounds!!! He’s built like me. Yet, with the fluidity and constant attention to detail of his pitching motions, he should be a very durable player for years to come. They talk about physical freaks like Jevon Kearse and more recently USC’s Taylor Mays because of their size and speed. This guy is a completely different kind of freak. The tiny, how-the-hell-does-he-do-that kind of freak.

Now this says NFL Quarterback to me.

Tom Brady

In the sixth round of the 2000 draft, Patriots brass decided to focus on a Quarterback. It came down to a choice between Michigan’s Tom Brady and Louisiana Tech’s Tim Rattay. The Pats went with Brady and by the beginning of the 2001 season he had worked his way past 2 other players to become the backup for the face of the franchise, Drew Bledsoe. On Sept. 23rd, 2001 Bledsoe suffered a hit from Jets linebacker Mo Lewis that knocked him out of the game and out of the starting spot forever. Brady stepped in and took the floundering 0-2 start Bledsoe had left him with all the way to a Super Bowl berth against the “greatest show on turf” St. Louis Rams. With 1:21 left, no time outs and a tie score, Brady took the ball from his own 15 yard line to the Rams 31 to set up Adam Vinitari’s game winning field goal as time expired. Brady took Super Bowl MVP honors and became a household name. Whatever you think of him now, Brady had one of the most improbable rises ever. Smug little playboy that he is.

For the record, I still would have taken Bush or Young.

Mario Williams

Up until the night before the draft, I had never heard of Mario Williams. Then, all of a sudden, he was literally number 1 in the world of NFL rookies. People scoffed at the Texans for passing on big names like Bush, Leinart, or Young, but it has worked out pretty well for them. Williams has turned into a very, very good pass rusher while Leinart and Young can’t even scratch a starting line-up and Bush is oft injured and not an every down back.

I know this would be a great place for her picture, but you can do an image search if your interested.

The chick from Mad Men

Most shows on small cable networks like AMC don’t garner a lot of main stream attention, but Mad Men seems to have broken that mold.  You know what else has been broken? Normal sized bras by this chick. Great Barrier Reef! Every since she showed up to some awards show in all her racktacular glory, she has moved up to most guys’ celebrity spank bank queue. To go from a complete unknown to ‘close material’ is pretty impressive. Okay, here are a couple pictures…

Anybody can win Rookie of the Year, but how many guys have the name to match.

Brandon Roy

I forgot how crazy the 2006 NBA draft was. The Blazers drafted Tyrus Thomas at #4. Then the Blazers traded Bassy Telfair, Theo Ratliff, and a 2008 2nd round pick to Boston for Raef LaFrentz, Dan Dickau, and 7th round pick Randy Foye. Then they traded Thomas and Vicktor Khryapa to Chicago for 2nd overall pick LaMarcus Aldridge. Portland then acquired Roy by trading Foye to Minnesota. Portland did a couple more trades too, but they weren’t ver exciting. Portland wheeled and dealed themselves into the 2007 Rookie of the Year and a soon-to-be perennial All Star. Roy has become part of the exciting young nucleus playing at the Rose Garden just a few years after they were known colloquially as the JailBlazers. Hoodwinked seems to be the best word to describe all the teams that traded with the Blazers that fateful June night. Folks thought that Roy would be a decent pro, but few prognosticators were predicting that he’d be the best player out of that draft. Paul Allen may have been going through GMs like kleenex, but he still managed some pretty sweet draft work.

It occurs to me that I need to pick up some skull and crossbones frames for myself.

Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn

If Michael Vick ever wants to make it back into the NFL, then he just needs to watch Major League over and over again and do everything Ricky Vaughn did. Seriously, the guy goes from playing in the California penal league [editor’s note: heh, “penal”!] to clinching the division for the Indians. He is also credited with inventing the idea of closers coming out to kick ass rock music.

This sign brings to mind “Children of the Corn” for some reason.

The 10-0 Titans

Undefeated. Marching the path to perfection. The Tennessee Titans have done nothing short of shocking me. the Titans were 4-12 in 2005. In 2006 they started 0-5 and talks of Jeff Fisher’s seat getting hot began to heat up, but they sat QB Kerry Collins who was showing his age on the bench in favor of rookie Vince Young and rebounded to a 8-8 record. In fact they had a chance for a 9-7 and a playoff berth but the final game of the season was against the power house Patriots. In 2007, Young and the Titans finished 10-6 and got a playoff berth losing in the first round to the Chargers. In spite of losing confedence in Young and giving the reins back to Collins the Titans have marched through an admittedly weaker schedule to match the 2007 win total without losing. And the really amazing thing is, even with steady improvement over the last 3 seasons the common NFL fan still thinks these guys have come out of nowhere.

Got one that we forgot? Please remind us of that fact in the comments!