Pyle of List

After a resounding 10 person vote (what’s the problem, it’s not a presidential election, people) you the pyleoflist readers have decided….NASCAR is not a sport. Now, whether I agree or not (I do) the decision is made. I will no longer refer to a bunch of guys circling for 4 hours a sport. After all, Craftsman Dollar Days at the Sears can cause the same phenomena. Now we move on to a new topic. Faithful reader, help……

Golf
Sport or Not?

Sport
For 500 years there have been golfers attempting to perfect their game. The first recorded golf game was in Edinburgh, Scotland in 1456; that’s 40 years before Chris Columbus jumped on a boat and “discovered” the Americas, where thousands of other people already lived. Thankfully, golf has dropped the kilts; after all, we’d all have much less respect for Tiger Woods if he was in a skirt. It didn’t do anything for Annika Sorenstam’s popularity. Zing.
No other sport captures the attention of the American fan like golf. As we watch the pro’s swing across the links we can’t help but book our own tee times so we can attempt to reproduce what we see these world class athletes do. And they are world class athletes. The ability for pro golfers to consistently discipline the body to repeat the golf swing time and time again with so rare error is tough. Don’t think so, huh? Try to perform the same action perfect 72 times a day for 4 days. Many have tried on golf courses and Vegas hotel rooms and failed, sometimes with painful results, but you go right ahead.
Golf also gives us seemingly perfect stories of personal accomplishment. How many times have we watched Tiger take control of the field and run down leaders on Sunday so that Sportscenter has something to fill 15 minutes of Mondays show? With that plus the “Sunday Conversation” half the show writes itself. On top of helping cable networks with programming, (USA, ESPN and we won’t even talk about the Golf channel) golf gives us a good two hours a week of listening to the boss talk about his performance on the links that. You know if he had a little more time to work on his game he might be able to erase that handicap completely and qualify for the tour. It’s not the best way to spend your time but those TPS reports can always wait.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on Sunday. I’ve got a 10am tee time.”

Not
This is a no-brainer. Anything you do in a polo shirt and slacks doesn’t count as a sport. Think about it. If they would make it even the tiny bit physical, you know jog between stokes and try to finish in less time than the other players, then you’d have players wearing triathlon gear. Tons of games require strategy and the ability to use your arms, see chess, monopoly, dominos…just because you play it outside on a huge board doesn’t make it a sport. And we really can’t be expected to buy the athleticism argument. We won’t even go into a competitor like Jon Daily (seen above) after all we may never get back out, but the fact that you have a senior tour that is just as competitive as the younger guys might just tell you all you need to know. If 50 year old guys compete as easily as the 20 and 30 year olds there is something off, right?
Furthermore, can you tell me how the handicap system makes this a better sport? Look, if the Colts are playing the Bills next week and Dungy and Peyton, who would have to take time from making his newest Mastercard ad, call the NFL and ask the score be augmented before kickoff so the game is a bit more fair, you know something like 35-0, I would buy into this system a bit more. Aren’t sports all about the elimination of weaker opponents to determine who the best overall is? And while it doesn’t carry over to the pro game, pro’s regularly skip events they don’t need to take a weekend off. Imagine what would happen if the Texas Rangers pitchers all decided to take a week off during the season. Wait a sec, then they might come back refreshed and be able to keep a single digit in front of the decimal on their collective ERA after the All-star break….maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.

“Don’t worry about it, 9 Earned run in 2/3 of an inning happens here all the time in August.”

Let’s face it golf can’t be considered a sport until….well…..there’s always the possibility of those Miller Lite commercials from the early 90’s seen here with a Levi and Hardees ad…I hate it when you can’t locate exactly what you’re looking for on the net. When that happens I’m all in.