Pyle of List

The circumstances aren’t exactly the same, but no NBA Playoff series has reminded me this much of a Rocky movie since Spurs-Knicks Final in the strike-shortened season of 1999 (Rocky V-let’s just pretend the whole thing never happened). The Spurs-Hornets series covers all the major angles you remember from the third Rocky: Long reigning champion vs. young, hungry upstarts, the motivation to stay on top, and men sharing their strength (compare the following videos):

I know I’m not the only one that sees the Apollo-Rocky beach hug potential between Popvich and Duncan.

Since Rocky III has the best dialogue of the series, I’ll use some quotes from the movie to break it down.

Apollo Creed: He’s hooking. He’s hooking. He’s hooking! Damn, Rock, Come on! What’s the matter with you?
Rocky Balboa: Tomorrow. Let’s do it tomorrow.
Apollo Creed: [Screaming] There is no tomorrow! THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW!

This has to be the motto for the Spurs as they approach the rest of this season because their dynasty’s window will be closed soon. Duncan has a lot of miles on him and Ginobili is only a year younger (31 this summer). And the role players are in the same position. They keep Horry in cryogenic sleep until the playoffs, Michael Finley looks older than Greg Oden, and Bruce Bowen is breaking down physically to the point he stays on the bench for long periods to protect him from his opponents’ unrequited vengeance for his decade of dirty play. But the list goes on. Brent Barry can’t legitimately spike his hair anymore unless he wants to project mid-life crisis, Oberto is going to turn to Rogaine soon and they surely didn’t trade for Kurt Thomas in an effort to rebuild around him.

Interviewer: What’s your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: My prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, your prediction.
[Clubber looks into camera]
Clubber Lang: Pain!

The Spurs don’t have anyone that can guard Chris Paul, who is set to abuse them for the entire series. Popovich is going to be careful in choosing the matchup. If he goes with Bowen there’s the age factor but even Bowen in his prime would struggle mightily. Same goes for Finley, Barry, Vaughn and Stoudemire. The only option is Tony Parker, who is a defensive liability (sorry Spurs fans, its true). With Duncan behind him erasing mistakes and Bowen traditionally guarding the best perimeter player, Parker hasn’t ever had to apply himself on D to be successful. His offensive gifts are so unique that he makes up for his lack of defensive prowess in most series. But not this one. Paul is his worst nightmare and will put him through the ringer, win or lose.

Mickey: No, he ain’t just another fighter! This guy is a wrecking machine! And he’s hungry! Hell, you ain’t been hungry since you won that belt.

The Spurs have looked very average for nearly the entire season coming off the championship last year. They coasted through the regular season and regularly let their foot off the proverbial gas pedal in the Suns series. San Antonio dug themselves a hole in Game 1 they needed multiple OT’s and mistakes by Phoenix to win it. They must’ve flown home early after their great performanc in Game 3, because they didn’t even show for Game 4. Sure, they “turned it on when it counted” in Game 5 but it sure wouldn’t make me feel comfortable relying on that. Not to mention this year’s Suns are so dysfunctional and schizophrenic that Amy Winehouse was concerned. Meanwhile the Hornets dominated Dallas and pretty much the entire NBA for the whole year, including two convincing wins over the Spurs.

Clubber Lang: [Calling to Adrian; Smooth talks] Hey, Woman. Hey, Woman! Listen here. Since your old man ain’t got no heart, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreamin’ you had a real man, don’t ya? I’ll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I’ll show you a real man.

The tag team of Hilton Armstrong and Tyson Chandler, along with every other player over 6′8″ on the Hornet’s roster are going to get the chance to guard Duncan in this series. There is no doubt in my mind their strategy is going to be physical, which is probably too mild a term for what they’re going to do. Essentially, they’re going to challenge the aging Duncan’s manhood and see how he responds. Given Duncan’s propensity for streaky free throw shooting woes, it’s a great idea. In fact, the only time I’ve ever seen Duncan taken out of a game and his rythym, was during his college years at Wake Forest. Undersized Stanford manhandled him the NCAA tournament, sending guys off the bench to foul him hard and make him win the game from the line or get the ball out his hands. Luckily, Tim has better teammates than he did at Wake, but we’ll see how he handles New Orleans’ physical challenge.

Clubber Lang: [Screams] Shut up, Old Man! You don’t know what I had to come from! Balboa, your family doin’ real nice, ain’t it, and you call yourself a fighter?

Sports’ impact on Katrina-ravaged New Orleans has been overstated (which may not be a severe enough word choice) by the sports media. But, there is no denying that the Hornets’ fan base is more fervent and supportive than before disaster struck. Sports haven’t done much to help people out in tangible, everyday ways. Houses still need to be built, families are still displaced and the city still needs a lot of help. But sports has served as a distraction for a fractured city that wants something to cheer for. And Hornets fans are primed to channel their energies into this series and will their team to the next round. The team embraces their role in the community and has a little extra motivation to perform. In contrast Spurs fans, spoiled by championships and success, lack that raw desire to see their team win. They’ll get into it at big moments, but for the most part they’re rather content with passively watching and either complianing or celebrating afterwards.

Prediction (besides pain): While New Orleans is the higher seed and have been extremely impressive all season, the Spurs are still in control. Their mental attitude and commitment to winning will determine the series. When the Hornets take the fight to them (and you better believe they will), if the Spurs decided to play their game, they’re as susceptible to being knocked out and embarassed like Rocky was in the first fight. But, if they’re willing to be smart and exploit the weaknesses of their upstart challenger (ala Rocky in the rematch), San Antonio will win the series. The Hornets, like their cinematic counterpart Clubber Lang, will come up short in a boxing match but will win a street fight. It’s up to the Spurs to avoid a slugfest, elude their opponenet and counterattack to advance to the next round. But, New Orleans always has a puncher’s chance. I think the Spurs will be motivated by their young, hungry challenger, regain “The Eye of The Tiger” and win in 6.