Pyle of List

Did you know that California’s Supreme Court lifted the state’s gay marriage ban? Instead of being all uptight and political about it, we present to you duos from the world of sports that might be on their way to the altar as we speak. These sports figures may or may not be gay, but they should definitely be married to each other.

Andy Pettite & Roger Clemens (Mako)

We’ve watched the relationship between these two Texas boys heat up in New York since Roger first donned his pinstripes back in 1999. They got two rings together in New York winning the ’99 and ’00 World Series. From the mound, Andy Pettite and Roger Clemens seemed an unstoppable duo, a ferocious fury of fastballs and perfectly pitched curveballs in the pocket. And when Roger called it quits in 2003, Andy went down to Texas, where he hoped he’d find his long, lost companion, his partner on “the rubber”. He did. Roger couldn’t handle seeing Andy out there by his lonesome with that #21 homage on his Astros jersey and came out of retirement to join the boy once again, this time with the number 22. It was a reunion made in heaven…

Yet, every man and woman knows that love has a funny way of bringing out the worst in all of us over time, and the low ERA’s and all the strikeouts between these two turtledoves are no exception. A lover’s quarrel can conjure up the most ancient of skeletons out of the closet and, when the heat was on after Andy got busted for pumping HGH in the Mitchell Report, he ratted on Clemens. Seems there was some poking around going on back in New York…

Evander Holyfield & Mike Tyson (Mako)

Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, June 28, 1997 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada…what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Or so they say. But if any man gets his mouth this close to another man’s ear, word will get around. If he goes so far as to sink his teeth into that other man’s ear, not once, but TWICE…well…its gonna be real difficult for him to ever go showing his face in public again.

Tyson, all too aware of the validity of this truism, went and got himself a huge tattoo on his face. Not that it helped. The fallout from “The Bite Fight” has been eating away at his career, not to mention his already fragile mental stability, for more than a decade now.

“Look down… I have a surprise for you Troy.”

Troy Aikman & Joe Buck

It’s the classic football couple that you’ve seen since high school: Quarterback and Cheerleader Announcer. But Aikman isn’t your average insensitive jock. He and Joe to have long afternoon conversations all the time, often tuning out the world around them to display their unique companionship. And wouldn’t you know it, like any couple that’s been together for a long time, they can finish each other’s sentences and have similar tastes. How many 49er games will they be working this year?

Pop’s secret

Gregg Popovich & Tim Duncan

Sometimes, you meet your soulmate in the most unexpected place… like the NBA Draft. These two have been harboring a deep, intensely passionate love since Timmy’s arrival in the River City. This isn’t some flittering affair, destined to blow away as dust in the wind. This is the real deal. They bring out the best in one another: two men, sharing their strength forever. Sure, they have their tough times but like all good relationships, they bounce back. If you think they would mind ending their season in LA, you’d have another thing coming.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Gregg.”

Dan Patrick and Reggie Miller (Philguard)

I’m a sports fan…so much so that people have to remind me that you can also listen to music on the radio. Not me. I listen to Sports Talk Radio. 99 and 44/100ths of the time I am on Sports Talk and it’s been that way since 2000 or so. I understand each host has their favorite guests, but there’s a fine line between giving praise to an esteemed guest and kissing each other in the ear. “Daniel Theodore”?? “Reggie Alouicious Miller”?!? What are you guys doing?

When two guys are calling each other nicknames every time they talk to one another it reminds me of whispering pet names in my girlfriend’s ear in high school…and we all know why guys do that, right? Seriously, professionalism or get off my radio with that.

Jason Witten and Tony Romo (Philguard)

I’m also a Cowboys fan…but I got to call these two out. Couples always hear the obligatory, “Get a room” comment. Tony and Jason do. They’re roommates when the Cowboys are out on the road. Not a big deal. But pair that with the trips to Mexico with Tony’s girlfriend and her dad and all of a sudden things don’t look so normal. Now I find out that Tony takes a trip to Tennessee to be at Jason’s football camp each year. You’ve seen the couples that are always together every time you see them…when’s the last time you heard or saw one of these guys with knowing the other was in the vicinity? And Tony looks off camera during those post game interviews a lot. Is Jessica running around in the Cowboys locker room or are those stolen glances at someone else??

Guys, help me out please. As a Cowboys fan, this is getting a little embarrassing.

Michael Jordan and Charles Oakley

This beautiful relationship grew out of the boys’ playing days in Chicago. Jordan was Rookie of the year in 1985, Oak was on the NBA All-Rookie team in 1986. They were just two young guys having fun in the NBA, right? These two formed a bond with each other that started at Chicago Stadium and then the United Center. The love continued on the golf course, in the clubs, and later in the nation’s capital. Oak was well known for being MJ’s bodyguard on the court.  If you messed with his Airness, you had to deal with the enforcer.  No one one was getting between these two.  To this day, the lovebirds can still be spotted together at nightclubs, hotel bars, and casinos.  They’re pretty much inseparable.  One more thing, I bet you didn’t know about Oak’s penchant for wearing leather.  Kinky.

Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley

Anyone who witnessed a Houston Rockets game between 1999 and 2004 likely noticed the burgeoning relationship between Cat and the Franchise. They have a special connection that can only be described as a Rocketship of emotion.  After the two (and some change) were traded to Orlando in exchange for Tracy McGrady their Magic was really put to the test.  And for a time, they were still the best of buddies.  But then the powers that be tore them apart and sent Cat to the west coast.   Stevie sums it up best, “Him not being here is going to be tough for me. I don’t know what I’m going to wake up for.”  Now that California is allowing men to marry men and women to marry women, there’s no trade that can stand in the way of this dynamic duo.

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