Pyle of List

Let us all thank gimpy Dave Wannstedt and his Pitt Panthers for overcoming dubious officiating (at best) and once again exposing West Virginia for what they really are: Big East bullies. For the last few years, the Mountaineers have roughed up inferior Big East teams and run their mouths about being among the nation’s elite. But when a team finally stands up them, even when they’re of a lesser level of talent, they crumble like bleu cheese. Two of their “star” players have been in discussion for the Heisman for the past two years, only to fall off by December. Their fans speak endlessly about the team’s accomplishments, only to end the season with a mouthful of crow. To their credit, they did create this:

Essentially, they’ve been living off that Sugar Bowl victory against Georgia for 2 years. That’s their only recent big time win. And frankly, they almost gagged away a 28-0 lead in that one.

It all starts with White and Slaton, who fade in the Heisman race like a greyhound on Ambien with a whiskey chaser. They always seem to get “hurt” in big games, which sidelines them or is used to explain mistakes. You can see White nursing his non-throwing hand thumb injury on the sideline of a must-win, program-making game in the picture above. Slaton got a case of the fumbles against fellow wannabe Rutgers last year, which was due to a mysterious, previously undisclosed hand injury. You can rationalize it away all you want ‘Eer fans, but your “dynamic duo” folds under pressure more quickly than any pair of athletes in recent memory. White and Slaton serve as a microcosm of the team, they look good on paper but lack the necessary heart to be elite.

Thankfully Wannstache and his Panthers mercifully ended this season of manufactured greatness from West Virginia, dealing a serious blow to the overall reputation of the program and the egos of their deluded fanbase. Now the ‘Eer faithful can go back to their usually pastimes of [fill in hick joke here] and quit trumpeting the praises of their beloved squad to anyone that will listen, and by and large, even those that don’t.

When asked for a comment, Pat White fittingly had this to say:

Wait, what kind of animal makes that noise? Doesn’t really sound like a big cat. More of a pussy… cat.