Friday, December 14th, 2007...10:17 am
Pyle of List Sports Movie Hall of Fame Elections: Inaugural Class
Ah, sports movies. Nothing like taking a couple hours off from real life and spending a little ‘you’ time in an imaginary land of sports triumphs. Every sports movie has a hero, a top star, but who are the best of the best? We here at Pyle of List have come up with our nominees for the Sports Movie Hall of Fame. Please read each submission, and vote for who you think should be elected into the Hall’s inaugural class.
Henry Rowengartner (Thomas Ian Nicholas)
Accomplisments: Lead Cubs to World Series title, won NL Rookie of the Year honor (1994), kept Busey clean for a whole season
Hall Pitch: A boy that was given the gift of lighting up both the radar gun, and the hearts of America took the NL by storm. Henry’s fastball has been clocked as high as 103 mph, and legend has it he once threw a baseball from the center field bleachers all the way to home plate on a line. An arm like his has never graced the silver screens of America since then, and it’s unlikely that one ever will. I mean, this kid struck out Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla in the same montage. THE SAME MONTAGE!
Ty Webb (Chevy Chase)
Accomplishments: Best golfer at Bushwood Country Club, inventor of “zen putting”
Hall Pitch: A great golfer, and even better man, Webb refused to play golf…for money…against people…unless it was to unseat the evil Judge Smails. Quick with his seven iron and even quicker with the witty retorts, Ty Webb was so good at golf that checks in upwards of $10,000 would just sit around his house, uncashed. Of course that only helped to impress the many young, beautiful ladies that would come over to his house for a late night skinny dip. Ever the philanthropist, Ty could often be found helping other around the golf course, whether it be disheveled grounds keepers, young caddies just looking for a tip, or real estate developers that need to win a $40,000 team game of golf.
Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)
Accomplishments: Single handedly carries team over neighborhood douche bags, teaches retard how to play baseball, first and only kid to beat The Beast, once stole home in the major leagues
Hall Pitch: Perhaps the greatest street baller in the history of baseball, Benny’s exploits know no bounds. As his nickname, The Jet, may illustrate, Benny was fast. There was no pickle he couldn’t get out of, both on and off the field. But often overlooked are Rodriguez’s power numbers. Benny was the number one cause of balls being lost to The Beast, because he routinely hit them over the fence at the end of left field (estimated at about 280 ft.). He also once hit a ball so hard, that the cover came right off of it. Benny eventually was given a chance to play for his hometown Dodgers, and stole home in a game that probably meant nothing (because it was the 90’s and the Dodgers were playing in it).
Spike Hammersmith (Sam Horrigan)
Accomplishments: Brought the ‘power I’ formation to small town Illinois, set pee wee football rushing records, hit puberty before everyone else
Hall Pitch: Spike could not be stopped. Not by you, not by me, not by anybody. He ran through more little kids than a Catholic church, and was just as smug about it. When Spike moved to Urbania, Illinois he was hotly recruited by both pee wee teams there due to the fact that he was a foot taller than either coach. He originally signed with the Giants, but later joined the Cowboys in free agency. Many often forget that Spike was a two-way player, creating havoc as a MLB. Spike still holds two pee wee football records: one for most asses kicked in a game, and one for most refrigerators carried on ones back.
Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka)
Accomplishments: All-Valley Karate Champion, made Karate the coolest sport in Reseda, took harrassing the new kid to a new level
Hall Pitch:
All you need to know about the star power of Johnny Lawrence is that he packed a San Fernando Valley gym for the finals of a Karate Tournament on a Saturday. Don’t forget that the Valley in the mid-80’s was the coolest place on Earth and the epicenter for all things radical and tubular. Instead of partying, surfing or going to the mall they all came to watch Johnny kick ass. His karate skill was second to none and he quickly rose to the top of the stacked Cobra Kai dojo. Should’ve repeated as champion if not for dubious officiating in the final (Lawrence was denied a point for “face contact”, while LaRusso won the final point with a kick to the face), which does nothing to taint his legacy. Watch the match here and decide for yourself.
Charles Jefferson (Forrest Whitaker)
Accomplishments: dominates football game from the DT position, drives a bitchin’ car, football season extended past Christmas just for him
Hall Pitch:
A man of few words and many sacks. Easily the most dominant and intimidating defensive lineman ever to play high school football. Takes a rivalry game by the balls and actually causes the other team to fear him. How many high-school football players do you know of that inspire sheer terror and pants wetting in their biggest rivals?
Shute believes cameras capture a man’s soul, but we managed to get this video.
Brian Shute (Frank Jasper)
Accomplishments: 3 time state champion wrestler, only one loss in entire career, making Matthew Modine bleed.
Hall Pitch:
A once in a lifetime talent. Hockey has Gretzky, golf has Tiger and wrestling has Brian Shute. As the most intimidating man under 200lbs to ever walk the planet, Shute ripped through his division for three straight years, leaving stacks of battered, ringworm infected challengers in his wake. His strangely homoerotic trash talk (”I like bleeders!”) twisted opponents minds before twisting their bodies into pretzels.
Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley)
Accomplishments: MVP and de facto skipper of “Bad News” Bears dynasty, MLB-level talent at multiple positions, best clutch hitter of all time
Hall Pitch:
What’s to say about Kelly Leak that hasn’t already been said. You can even throw out the stats (approx .900 BA, 0 errors) and Leak’s an automatic Hall of Famer. Struck fear in the hearts of opposing players at the plate and his ability to make his teammates better led to the one of the most dramatic turn-arounds in sports history. He plays the game right and is a true blue, old school ball player down to smoking a pack or two a day. Leak even drove the team van, when he wasn’t riding some teenage groupie around on his motorcycle.
62 Comments
December 16th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Didn’t Spike get fucked up by a girl when they had to play the Giants?
That obviously DQ’s him for HoF recognition.
December 16th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Come on! No Roy Hobbs? What kinda poll is this?!?
December 16th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
I’m not voting until jimmy chitwood is included
December 16th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
No Rocky? Come on man, even if this is only the inaugural class, he needs to be on the ballot.
December 17th, 2007 at 4:33 am
Well… I thought inspired… tho’ I’m a tad disappointed no Jack Elliot?
December 17th, 2007 at 9:35 am
Roy Hobbs leads the Knights to the penant, as a 50 year old rookie, with a bullet in his stomach…and doesnt make the list?!
December 17th, 2007 at 9:39 am
I had to vote for Johnny, Ty and Kelly Leak as they are head and shoulders above the rest, first ballot famers if I’ve ever seen them. Then I had to write in Pedro Cerano, because Jobu demands it.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:47 am
No Jimmy Chitwood???? No Hobbs…Rocky…bahh!
December 17th, 2007 at 9:51 am
I can’t believe you are forgetting Gunnar Stahl from Team Iceland in D2: The Mighty Ducks. Not only was he the leading scorer at the 1994 Junior Goodwill Games, he was also a foot taller than any other player. Granted his Hall of Fame candidacy did plummet as Julie the Cat Gaffney came off the bench with the cold glove to stop his flashy “triple deke” but he epitomized the essence of sportsmanship when he implored his fellow teammates to shake Team USA’s hands in defeat. His kind words to Charlie “Captain Duck” Conway still draw a single tear to the crest of my eye to this day.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Just to let you know, Little Giants takes place in Urbania, OHIO. Not Illinois.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:55 am
I believe its Urbania, Ohio buddy.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:22 am
Kelly Leak is in a league of his own. Do unfiltered Camels count as PEDs?
December 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
It was Urbania, Ohio…not to be confused with Urbana, Ohio.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:27 am
http://ifrevonlyhadabrain.blogspot.com/2007/08/lets-go-to-movies.html
Awesomely bad sports movies.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:27 am
While I can admit Rocky was an oversight and that Jimmy Chitwood will be on the next ballot (You can put everyone in the inaugural class), Roy Hobbs doesn’t deserve consideration. He was a flameout after getting shot and then a one-year wonder. It’d be like putting Brady Anderson, Josh Hamilton or Rick Ankiel in the HOF.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:51 am
No Karl Racki from Youngblood???
December 17th, 2007 at 11:25 am
By the way, we have the write-in option for anyone we may have overlooked so feel free to utilize that option. But in the words of Kang and Kodos “go ahead, throw your vote away.”
December 17th, 2007 at 11:27 am
If you don’t vote for Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez, you don’t have a soul. You probably don’t like ice cream, and you might’ve been abused as a child.
December 17th, 2007 at 11:30 am
How about Shoeless Joe Jackson from Eight Men Out and Field of Dreams. It’s about time somebody righted the wrong that major league baseball has refused to do. Also was Pete Rose ever in a movie?
December 17th, 2007 at 11:30 am
What about Scott Howard (aka Teen Wolf)? When in wolf form, no one could stop him, even breaking the rules couldn’t stop him — Why was the kid on the other team allowed to stand under the basket when MJF had to make those free throws in the end? I would say that not even Jimmy Chitwood could take over a basketball game the way Teen Wolf can, plus you have to keep in mind that MJF is like 3 feet tall and his resume is even better!
December 17th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Obviously, you forgot the Hansen brothers. No HOF is legit without them.
December 17th, 2007 at 11:39 am
What about Remember the Titans.
One of the Best. The acting, writing, lessons and moral of the story eclipse the other nominees
December 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am
I think Clu Haywood should be included for throwing at his own kid in a father-son game!
December 17th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Where is Eddie Harris the crafty veteran in Major League? Ricky Vaughn wouldn’t have had his big moment if it weren’t for the wiley Harris and his arsenal of pitches!!!
Other omissions: Chazz Michael Michaels and Clubber Lang
December 17th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I agree with the guy above. Where’s Karl Racki?
December 17th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
It was “The Duke” that threw at his kid in the father-son game
December 17th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
pardon my ignorance, but who was Jimmy Chitwood?
How about Polk High’s most famous alumni Al Bundy
G
December 17th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Henry Steele from One on One is the Man!
December 17th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Billy Hoyle and Sidney Dean from White Men Can’t Jump. They beat the King and the Duck
December 17th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Where is Shane Falco? He quarterbacked one of the greatest games in fake football history for the Washington Sentinels and went home with the head cheerleader. She owns a bar too.
December 17th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
RUDY RUDY RUDY
December 17th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Major League
December 17th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Wild thing you make my thang swang
December 17th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
You call Roy Hobbs a flame out, yet you include Henry Rowengartner?
December 17th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Rowengartner did everything Hobbs did but was 12 years old.
December 17th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Why no mention of Stefen Djordjevic? Led Ampipe to a pretty good season in 1983. Went on to Cal Poly with Coach Nickerson.
December 17th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Crash Davis. Best pitcher’s catcher ever. All-time minor league leader in Homers and smartass remarks. He once intentionally tipped his pitcher’s pitch just to teach him a lesson. Oh yeah, and I’m pretty sure he knows more than god.
December 17th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
How can you put Ty Webb up, and not his partner Al Czervik? Judge Smails and Dr. Beeper are a close second.
December 17th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Louden Swain from Vision Quest. Not only does he beat the monster Brian Shute, he also gets dirty with the older Carla (Linda Fiorentino).
December 17th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
What about Cru Jones?
December 17th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
How can you not include Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd? Starting quarterback as a Junior, golden arm, steel lungs(smokes pot and plays football), hates “the man” and always sticks up for the little guy.
December 18th, 2007 at 1:36 am
What about Rudy? Rudy,Rudy, Rudy! The guy paid the price, he belongs.
December 18th, 2007 at 4:29 am
I’m going to make a plea for Spike from Little Giants because that game was the greatest moment in his life. After the loss, he would later end up as the runner up on the WB’s Beauty and the Geek.
Yes, he is the same guy. Also, don’t try to say you didn’t watch it. . . because you know you did!
December 18th, 2007 at 6:01 am
No willy mays hays
December 18th, 2007 at 7:02 am
everyone forgot neon and butch, they were freshman and dominated. then left for the nba.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:08 am
Where in the hell is Shooter McGavin?? He eats pieces of shit for breakfast!
Chubbs Peterson?
Spider Rico?
Uncle Rico?
December 18th, 2007 at 7:16 am
Ricky Bobby????? NASCAR legend.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:19 am
Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds. Adams College great.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:27 am
Despite the nervous breakdown, I vote for hockey legend Jean “Rosie” LaRose. He dominated the Elsinore Brewery league.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:50 am
Reggie Dunlop and the Hanson Brothers from slapshot.
Another plug for a Newman character, Fast Eddie Felson!
Irving “Irv” Blitzer for his contribution to the Jamiaca’s bob sledding program.
Doug Dorsey, unable to fulfill a budding NHL career after a vicious eye injury, goes on to be a world class figure skater.
Jonathan E.- fights for personal freedom in Rollerball!
December 18th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Mario ‘Salami’ Pettrino and Caoch Ken Reeves!
December 18th, 2007 at 8:03 am
Doug Dorsey is a great call!
December 18th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Ed “Straight Arrow” Gennaro and Patches O’Houlihan - coaches wing of the Hall.
December 18th, 2007 at 8:24 am
How about Fletch at forward for the Lakers? 6′-5″ with afro, and amazing low post moves.
December 18th, 2007 at 8:26 am
How you don’t have White Goodman (Ben Stiller) from dodgeball, I will never understand. I mean who else is sitting on top of the fitness, and dodgeball thrown only to be unseated all by one downturned Chuck Norris thumb.
Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
December 18th, 2007 at 8:35 am
How about the great C. Thomas Howell and “Thirtysomething” Peter Horton in that horrible Volleyball movie “Side Out”. Randy Stoklos plays a great villan in Rollo Vincent. Best part of the movie is when Rollo tells the Ref “no touch” and the ref goes along with it.
December 18th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Happy Gilmore - you got hockey and golf covered
December 18th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Ernie McCracken. ’nuff said.
December 19th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
How can you justify creating this category and not have Slap Shot listed along with the Hanson Brothers (Jeff & Steve Carlson + Dave Hanson)? It continues to be rated as the Best Guy Movie of All Time & as one of the Top 10 Sports Movies of All Time. Plus, the Hanson Brothers continue to be a major factor for these distinctions.
December 19th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Where are the racing fan representatives? Both Cole Trickle (Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder) and Brewster Baker (Kenny Rogers in Six Pack) at least deserve a nomination for their racing dominance in their rookie seasons.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
information…
resources…
June 5th, 2008 at 7:54 am
As a team, the 1940’s POW Allied Soccer Team from “Victory” should be considered for not only playing to a draw with a Nazi all-star team despite some controversial officiating, but making a triumphant escape as well.
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