Pyle of List

Greetings university students! Let’s be honest for a moment. When it comes to college, Pyle of List has been more helpful than your RA’s sex & candy jar. But, we’re tired of helping other colleges and putting coin in someone else’s pocket. So I asked myself the question: why not open our own university? After a lot of red tape and shady real estate investments, Pyle of List U is opening its doors soon. Here are our course offerings for Winter:

Criminal Justice 226: Is Incarceration Necessary? Football as an Alternative Sentencing Practice for Young Men

Professsor: Urban Meyer

Our archaic system of justice hasn’t adapted to the needs of an ever-changing society. Particularly those young men who are at an increased risk of falling through the cracks of the prison system. Shouldn’t these young men have the chance to be reformed AND gain the benefit of a college education experience? Professor Meyer will introduce you to his patented systems such as “Turn Pro-bation” and “Spread Options for the Youth” along with his unique brand of rehabilitation.

Gerentology 156: Getting a Second Career and Keeping It! An Employment Guide for Senior Citizens

Professor: Lou Holtz

With widespread Social Security depletion and the continual rise in the cost of health care, retirees need to maintain a steady income. While acquiring post-retirement jobs has become commonplace, job security is precarious at best. Learn how to use old-fashioned sensibilities, archaic anecdotes, magic and crazy talk to endear yourself to your employer.

Psychology 209: Diagnosing Schizophrenia, Narcissism, Biploarity and other Personality Disorders

Professor: Kobe Bryant

Are you or a loved one volatile? Indecisive? Egotisitical? Ostracized? Then this course is for you. Join Professor Bryant for an in depth study of identifing physchiatric issues that affect the human personality with a leading figure in the field. Includes special guest lecture by Albert Belle.

Religion 334: Spirituality’s Role in a Pluralistic World

Professor: Jon Kitna

With all the tragedy and suffering besieging humanity, people’s faith in the Divine is wavering. Mankind can’t seem to find the answers they’re searching for. Professor Kitna is here to tell you that you’re looking in the wrong place. On Sundays, God is at Ford Field or on the road with the Lions, looking after God’s Chosen QB. Kitna will share his direct line with the Lord and lead you to the end zone of Salvation.