Pyle of List

Week 7 and the season still doesn’t make much sense. What do we know? The Pats are a sure thing, the Rams are bad and I still enjoy Joey Harrington. That’s about it. Bring it on Fanyard!

BB: Patriots by 14 over Dolphins:
That is what the Yardstick reads, and I would say it is smartly conservative, considering the issues that have arisen for the Pats in the Miami heat over the past few years.

JP: Pats by 11 over Dolphins:
The Dolphins tend to play the Pats tough. Although they haven’t faced THIS Pats team. Somewhere Bill Simmons is jerking off.

BB: Saints by 3 over Falcons:
It is not too far-fetched to think that the Saints could turn their season around with nine weeks to go. I would def think it is a stretch of the imagination to say the same about the Falcons. Leftwich? He’s a star in his own mind. Petrino has made a mistake, but he has had a tough situation to deal with this year, no doubt.

JP: Saints by 7 over Falcons:
I think the Saints have started to get it together. As the wise Homer Simpson once sang “Oh when the Saints go over there!”

BB: Cowboys by 6 over Vikings:
I guess this whole Romosexuality thing has spread to the masses, and for good reason. The kid ain’t no Brett Favre yet, but he sure looks kinda fun and goofy in his interviews. I hate it when I say good things about the Cowboys.

JP: ‘Boys by 10 over Vikings:
Let’s see how Romo and his cast of characters respond after getting straight up beaten by Bill Simmons’ wet dream. My guess, solid but not spectacular. Memo to the Cowboys D-coordinator: if you stop Adrian Peterson, you should be fine. This will be the first time we see 10 guys in the box since Lindsay Lohan went into rehab. Hey-yo!

BB: Giants by 7 over 49ers:
I don’t know what to say. I had high hopes for the Niners at the start of the season, but they just plain stink. Stink, I tell you. In fact…eww, I think I just caught a whiff.

JP: Giants by 1 over 49ers:
I really don’t care for the Giants. As much as I expected it to, the coup against Coughlin doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.

BB: Ravens by 3 over Bills:
This is going to be a tough game for both teams. By tough, I mean hard-hitting. McGahee’s return to Buffalo will overshadow everything else about this game. They hate him there. Like, a lot. Watch for debris.

JP: Bills by 4 over Ravens:
The Bills aren’t that bad. Really. I swear. And the Ravens are mind-numbingly predictable. If we live in a world where the Ravens can be successful, football as we know it will erode into an indistinguishable rugby-like game.

BB: Steelers by 5 over Broncos:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

JP: Steelers by 14 over Broncos:
I really wonder what Blake was going to say again. But to answer John Madden’s question, when I think of the Broncos I think of cut blocking and Mile High Stadium.

BB: Eagles by 3 over Bears:
Gotta run with the home squad in this battle of used-to-be-somebodies.

JP: Bears by 1 over Eagles:
You think Devin Hester could coach the Bears too? I honestly think he could run for Mayor of Chicago and win easily. While everyone talks about Hester, the blocking on punt returns has been terrific. Are other special teams coaches paying attention.

BB: Titans by 2 over Texans:
Wow, have you ever seen a bandwagon clear as quickly as that of the Texans this year? You shoulda seen the crowd on the 49ers bandwagon, then. The road was littered with bodies.

JP: Titans by 4 over Texans:
Until Andre Johnson comes back and has a fantastic game, its unlikely I’ll pick Texans.

BB: Bengals by 6 over Jets:
Who Dey? Who Dat? Whatever. Kudos to Chad Johnson for putting his dance moves away until the Bengals are at least .500. Presumably that means he has hope.

JP: Bengals by 3 over the Jets:
And the Jets didn’t trade Pennington why? I don’t think there is there any good reason for New York to think Clemmons is an upgrade.

BB: Redskins by 6 over Cardinals:
Jason Campbell. I like the kid. He stopped by Brett Favre’s house during the summer just to say hi, but they told him Brett was out. Funny, that’s the same thing they tell me whenever I drop by unannounced at houses of NFL quarterbacks. I’m starting to see a pattern here.

JP: Cardinals by 6 over ‘Skins:
Washington is kind of like Lou Diamond Phillips. You’d never really seek out an LDP flick, but when you watch one… you remember why you’d never seek one out. At least the Cardinals are interesting.

BB: Seahawks by 7 over Rams:
Can we please not have to watch this game, God? C’mon girl, it is plain torture watching Seattle as it is, much less watching them kick a dead horse..er, ram, lamb…I hate watching them kick things, OK.

JP: Rams by 3 over Seahawks:
This week’s Battle of Who Could Care Less brought to you by Ben Folds. The Rams are eventually going to beat someone, why not the Seattle?

BB: Lions by 2 over the Buccaneers:
I am not so sure about this game – the only Sunday game pitting two teams with winning records against each other. Looks like God had found a few other things to do besides watch over Her main man, John Kitna. I hear Kurt Warner has put in a request for a new wife. Did I say that? I meant a new ligament in his arm. That takes time, John. Back off! And, the Lions have been pussies lately, while the Bucs have looked tough. Oh well, the Yardstick says otherwise, so I take the kittens by 2. But under protest.

JP: Lions by 6 over Bucs:
Aren’t the Bucs starting Earnest Graham at RB this week? Did he even start at Florida? They’re so thin at that spot they actually made a trade which seems a sure sign of desperation in the NFL. If the Bucs win it will prove how unimportant the RB position is in the league.

BB: Chiefs by 2 over Raiders:
Priest Holmes has been activated and should see some action for the first time in, what two years? If that does not lift the Chiefs to their 4th victory in five games, I will eat a papaya.

JP: Raiders by 2 over Chiefs:
It’s possible that Holmes will die on Sunday. I don’t care how elite of an athlete you are, it takes some time to readjust to NFL game speed.

BB: Colts by 4 over Jags:
Someone is gonna get a bloody mouth over this and it ain’t gonna be me, thankfully. I am really looking forward to this fight for the AFC South treasures. Mostly because I like blood.

JP: Colts by 13 over Jags:
I think Peyton is going to try and send a message to the Pats in an attempt to setup a very, very intriguing regular season matchup in a few weeks. Maurice Jones-Drew running always makes me laugh. There is no reason he should be fast with that body shape. It’s kind of similar to bees, since they shouldn’t be able to fly based on their proportions.