Pyle of List

The 4th of July is upon us, which means it’s time to celebrate our independence from our dry-witted cousins from across the pond. But it’s not just a time for enjoying our favorite American recreational activities like BBQing, fireworks and wearing American flag apparel. It’s also an opportunity to consider the things that make America awesome and how fortunate we are to have Ol’ Glory triumphantly waving over us. Last year the gang here at Pyle of List took a break from lowbrow humor (kind of) and recapped the most patriotic moments in sports.

This year, we’re switching it around and calling out the least patriotic moments in American sports history. These are the moments where people have disrespected the country or acted in a manner unbecoming of the US of A. This isn’t designed to be the authoritative list, just the moments that stick out in our minds. Please share yours in the comments. Keep reading →

Check out our experiment with live audio during the Cardinals-Giants game last night

Here are links for a few of the items we discussed last night:

JP’s Buffalo Bill voice

DLamp’s man-crush Kershaw Liveblog

Silent Auction NFL Overtime Proposal (Via MJD at Shutdown Corner)

Barry Zito’s Modeling Career

Troy Aikman-Joe Buck married and dressed as twins liveblog

Joe Sports Fan’s ongoing Cardinals Moustache Coverage

So I just got to my computer, and I figure I will try my best to live-blog the rest of My Boy KERSHAW!1!’S game today. We pick it up in the top of the third… Keep reading →

This Wednesday, us Pyle of Listers are trying something a bit different… an audio liveblog. Think of a DVD commentary mixed with Mystery Science Theater 3000, except it’s all about sports and completely live.

The goal is to create a system that accompanies sporting events so sports fans could listen to the commentary while watching the game live, or they could download it and start it later if they DVR’ed the game. As we all know, the TV play by play and color analysts are ripe for mocking and, particularly with baseball, its always nice to chat about the game with your knowledgable friends.

We’re going to take our inaugural run on Wednesday. The midweek ESPN national baseball game is Cardinals-Giants (8:30 Eastern). We’d love for you to listen and chat with us live with your comments, jokes and questions.

With more and more names coming out as steroid users in Major League Baseball, our childhood heroes keep taking shots to the image. Each day that poster of Ken Griffey Jr. that we bought at the swap meet when we were 13 gets more and more suspicious. So it’s time we woke up and faced facts:

It’s only a matter of time before our baseball movie heroes face the same fate.

Clearly PEDs are intertwined with the DNA of MLB. And we all know Hollywood is a stickler for ‘keeping it real’, so it’s no stretch to think that all those characters who won games in dramatic fashion in our movie theaters and then later on our TVs were doping it up.

But we here at Pyle of List like to try to stay ahead of these scarlet letter-ings, so we’ve come up with our list of Movie Ballplayers Most Likely on the Juice.

Enjoy! Keep reading →

Boom! You see that?! That’s My Boy KERSHAW!1! putting a grade A ass whoopin’ on those sissies from Orange County. Complete dominance!

Man, it was magnificent to watch. It was like KERSHAW!1! was some sort of demon who had descended upon heaven (aka Angel Stadium) and just started tearing angels assunder. Wings were ripped from backs! Blood covered feathers littered the infield! Cherubs wept!

Or maybe I’ve just done too much peyote in my life.

Either way, My Boy KERSHAW!1! seems to have figured out whatever had him in his little funk a few weeks ago. The ship is righted, folks! No one is safe from the filthiest curveball (not to mention dreamiest eyes!) in the league! No one! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Final line: 7 IP, 4 Hits, 4 BB, 5 Lembecks

So earlier this week I was in Laughlin, NV with some family for a little R&R. Oh, you’ve never heard of Laughlin? Take the worst dregs that go to Vegas, then add a lake, and you’ve pretty much got Laughlin.

When I wasn’t on the lake breaking both hearts and sunglasses, I spent my time at the craps table. I feel like it helps with my street cred. But I always make it a point to walk over to the sports book and make some stupid bet. “Let me parlay the Mariners with the under” and other such nonsense. And what do I see as I look up on the board Tuesday evening?

978     Dodgers     Kershaw

Say, no more, bookie man! This was a sign. My Boy KERSHAW!1!’S name up on the bright lights of the betting board where it belongs. I just KNEW he was gonna break out of this little two game funk he had been in.

And he did. KERSHAW!1! left the game with a two run lead, but the damn bullpen blew it, only to have Los Doyers rally to win it! Woo hoo! Take that, casino!

I tried calling KERSHAW!1! to thank him for my winnings and offer to buy him a sundae from Baskin Robins with it, but then I remembered that I don’t have his phone number.

I tried to let me winnings ride but Kuroda Pearl Harbored me last night. What? Oh, right, the Pearl Harbor remark. Sorry, some white trash must have rubbed off on me in Laughlin.

Final line: 5.2 IP, 4 hits, 3 BB, 8 Lembecks.

Whoa, listen, I know things didn’t go the way you planned in your last start. 83 pitches to not even get out of the third inning is rough. Yeah, I thought a couple of those calls were bogus too.

But crying? In the dugout? On national TV? *sigh*

It’s okay, baby KERSHAW!1!, come rest your weary head on my bossom. I will let you dry those eyes on my homemade Kerlampshaw jersey.

Shh shh shh, it’s okay, those bad men can’t get to you any more. You’ll get them next time, I’m sure of it. I never want to see those gorgeous eyes of yours filled with tears ever again!

Final line: 2.2 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB, 2 Lembecks.